Tag Archives: DDCANDTHECITY

Career, Chapter 2, Personal Finances, Where to?

The Jedi and Me

I’ve been a bartender at a local daiquiri shop for about a month. I started with zero professional experience as a bartender, and aside from making a Tequila Sunrise, I am unfamiliar with cocktail recipes and techniques. I initially applied to the daiquiri shop thinking my job would mainly involve pulling levers to dispense daiquiris. I was surprised to find out there’s a full bar, and my duties include preparing mixed drinks. Fortunately, they hired me despite my lack of experience and assured me that I could learn on the job.

My initial training shift was with E. An 18 year old on her last week at the daiquiri shop before going to school. I arrived before she did. That should have been my first clue to lower my expectations of training or at least of my trainer. Thankfully, since then, E has had her final shift and I have my fingers crossed that I never have to work with or see her ever again. 

I worked my first night out of training with K, also known as, the Jedi. She was the only Black employee until I started, and we connected instantly. In her mid-20s, she has a no-nonsense quality about her. Her training was thorough, teaching me the right way to do things, not just enough to avoid trouble, which was a stark contrast to my earlier training from E. The Jedi also gave me the lowdown on my new colleagues, including who is related to whom. Additionally, she advised me about the patrons of the daiquiri shop, warning me that the regulars are chatty and to be cautious about who I entertain.

The Jedi is moving this week and will no longer be at the daiquiri shop. Her parting words to me were a reminder: this daiquiri shop is my job, and I should keep my personal life separate. She emphasized coming to work to make money, not friends. Her words reminded me of my Daddy, who would share the same sentiments with me whenever I started a new job in the past. I needed that reminder from the Jedi.

Despite the unexpected challenges and steep learning curve, my experience at the daiquiri shop has been rewarding. Tips!!!! 

Thanks to the valuable training and advice from the Jedi I am adapting slowly but surely to being a bartender. Her guidance has not only equipped me with the skills to handle my duties but also offered me crucial life lessons. 

Lesson: I am a working woman. 

Question: What’s your drink of choice? 

Note: I have two part time jobs now. First came the bartender and I started as a barista at a coffee shop a couple weeks ago. More to come about the life of a barista. 

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Chapter 2, Mental Health, Where to?

Adjusting

I’ve been in Louisiana for 70 days now, and I’m just about settled into my space. I have one moving box left to unpack—shoes. It’s amazing how many shoes I have, considering I wear the same pink flip-flops on a regular basis.

I know to clean the guest bathroom every Friday and take the trash out on Tuesday evenings.

I’ve got a couple of churches on my radar and have selected a local Toastmasters club to join.

I know of two taco spots with great deals. Mi Padres has a Taco Tuesday special: three tacos and a margarita for $15.

I started working as a bartender at a daiquiri shop three miles away and had an interview with PJ’s Coffee today, which went well.

Mom and I have developed a good rhythm. I enjoy quality time with my mom and Mason. We saw Inside Out 2 together. Great movie. I’ve made a few connections with old friends.

I was introduced to a very nice cigar bar in town. Good vibes. Great music. Perhaps I enjoyed the venue more because of who I was with than because of the venue itself. Perhaps.

How long does it take to start over? I am starting over in my forties. I have the opportunity to choose my identity. I am trying to figure it out as I go.

Lesson: It is starting to feel like home.

Question: Daiquiris or coffee?

DDC

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About Me, Chapter 2, Mental Health

Reset

I absolutely love a reset. Yearly reset. Monthly reset. Weekly reset. Daily reset. A reset is a chance to start over. A reset is the opportunity of a new beginning. 

“In the canvas of life, a new beginning is the brushstroke that paints the beauty of possibility. It’s not just a chance to start over; it’s an opportunity to craft a masterpiece, a chance to get it right, and an embrace of the endless potential that unfolds with every fresh start.”

I love to watch YouTube videos of people conducting their own resets. My favorite YouTuber MuchelleB is famous (to me) for the reset. She walks us through her resets with her Australian accent and I am always engrossed. So intrigued that I have rewatched her videos from 3-4 years ago with patience. It’s amusing to watch her older resets as she is using platforms that I am unfamiliar with. Have you ever heard of Things 3? 

Every new year I make a list of lofty goals in several areas of my life that I dream to achieve during the year. I would spend weeks creating elaborate vision boards of my dreams for a successful year. Then I would not refer to that vision board until the next year to create the new vision. 

This year is different. Totally different. In my Tamar Braxton voice. This year I am reviewing my annual goals on a weekly basis. Making plans for that week to progress towards the vision. 

“A goal without a plan is just a wish, a dream waiting for the blueprint of action to bring it to life.”

How did I plan to achieve the beautiful elaborate vision board without a plan? Hence, the weekly reset. On a weekly basis I review the goals for the year and plan what needs to happen that week in order to achieve the bigger picture. This year I am using the tools I have learned from watching countless YouTube videos on how to achieve the desires of my heart. 

DDC

Lesson: A reset is a weekly must. 

Question: How do you prepare for a new week? A new month? A new year? 

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Chapter 2, Mason

All Things Jazmine

Hey Siri!

Mmmm.

Play “All Things Jazmine” on shuffle.

‘All Things Jazmine’ now shuffling on Apple Music.

“All Things Jazmine” is my playlist where I have compiled three hours and two minutes of Jazmine Sullivan. There is a song or five for every mood and I love it when Siri starts playing exactly the vibe I intended. Jazmine Sullivan’s discography consists of a variety of R&B and soulful tracks, showcasing her powerful vocals and storytelling abilities.

“I may not have a reason to think so I know, but today I think I’m gone win the lottery.”

Jazmine Sullivan. Silver Linings. Reality Show Album.

Silver Linings sparks feelings of positivity in me. Feelings of instant hope. Immediate excitement while considering a limitless future.

Another excellent start is Dream Big. The legendary Missy Elliot starts with the kind of energy where you immediately know a banger is beginning.

“This is a Jazmine exclusive SUCKERS! Oh, we gonna take ’em to the club like this.”

Jazmine Sullivan. Dream Big. Love Me Back Album.

Jazmine will do her thing encouraging very high energy in me. A catalyst where I cannot contain my energy to sing . . . well . . yell along with her.

“Packin’ up my shh and I’m going real far. Going off to Hollywood to be a big star. There’s nothing here for me so I gotta move fast. And I’m getting on the road and won’t never look back (hey)”

Jazmine Sullivan. Dream Big. Fearless Album.

It is obvious I literally love all things Jazmine Sullivan. I love listening to her music collection more than any other artist. I frequently use her lyrics as captions on my social media posts. I can instantly identify the specific song I need to hear in the specific moment I need to hear. Her words have inspired previous blog posts. My post entitled, “Stanley,” was birthed from listening to her song of the same name.

My favorite of all time from Jazmine Sullivan and possibly of all music is Masterpiece.

Masterpiece has a way of touching my soul on a deep level.

“I’m a work of art, a Mona Lisa. I’ll share my picture with the world. Not afraid to let it show anymore”

Jazmine Sullivan. Masterpiece. Reality Show Album.

Masterpiece is an empowering song about self-acceptance and recognizing your inner beauty. The lyrics convey a message of embracing your flaws and realizing that every part of you is a work of art. This song encourages me to let go of self-doubt and all negative self-perception. It highlights the importance of believing in one’s own worth and sharing that unique beauty with the world. Overall, Masterpiece is a celebration of self-love and self-expression.

I love this song so much that for my 42nd birthday, my favorite person, my SONshine, gifted me the most thoughtful gift I have possibly ever. Wall art with song lyrics of Masterpiece in the shape of an album with the caption, “To My Amazing Mother” and the date. 11/23/23.

It has to be the most perfect, most thoughtful, most tailored to who I am gift that I could have ever imagined.

I love Jazmine Sullivan’s music more than any other artist.

I love Mason Riley more than any other person. He’s my baby. My greatest accomplishment. So thoughtful. A good human being.

DDC

Lesson: I send Mason a few links to exactly what I want for my birthday every year. I include options at different price points. I’m very hard to buy a gift for. If I want something, then I’ll treat myself to it with little to no hesitation. This year Mason wanted to get me something on his own. No link required. He declared he wanted to put thought into it like I do.

Mason Riley exceeded my expectations on every level with this one.

Question: What song resonates with you? A song that inspires you to be better? Take some time today and actively listen to it. Then comment on my Instagram @DDCandthecity telling me the feelings inspired from listening.

Note: Mason Riley is in his junior year of Howard University studying Film & Television Production. Very soon, January 26, my SONshine will be 21 years old. Time flies when you are having fun.

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About Me, Career, Chapter 2, Daddy, Mental Health

No Call No Show

Later tonight, I am hosting the debut karaoke night at Lena’s Ontechnology for a college friend. In my low mood, all I wanted to do was… well, absolutely nothing. I didn’t feel like doing a single thing. My usual spark was missing in action. How in the hell am I going to be able to put my game face on enough to host a karaoke night when I do not want to get out of bed? I woke up in a low mood. Last night, I decided that I would wake up at 7 a.m. Unfortunately, I did not tell the alarm clock. I naturally woke up after 8 a.m. to disappointment. I wanted to lay in bed longer than a sloth on a weekend. But then, thankfully, I remembered I had a phone interview for a project management position at 10 a.m. I needed to do my usual interview preparation. I needed to research the company, review the interviewer’s LinkedIn profile, and prepare some thought provoking questions.

So, I played my interview anthem to get in gear. Rick Ross blared over the HomePod loud and clear, “Everyday I’m hustlin’. Everyday I’m, everyday I’m, everyday I’m hustlin’. Everyday I’m hustlin’.” Okay. It’s go time!! I pulled up my resume, the job description, and LinkedIn and waited patiently. And you won’t believe it, the interviewer was a no call, no show to the phone interview that I was so excited about. After waiting for 15+ minutes, I realized that she wasn’t going to call. I did my due diligence and sent an email requesting a reschedule, and then at that moment, a heavy cloud came over my spirit. I wanted to get back in bed and stay there… indefinitely. So, I sent out the SOS text to my tribe (I needed encouragement) and then called my Mama and cried. I had a really good cry. My Mom reminded me that I’ve conquered this unemployment demon before and I WILL do it again. Instead of getting in the bed and deep under the covers, I made the decision to fight the low mood. Besides, I have to be fabulous tonight. I had a list of things to cross off my to-do list. Hair. Outfit. Makeup. Plus I needed to send out a few reminders about tonight’s festivities.

I stopped by Walgreens on the way home and picked up some prints of my family. My sister had the idea to get a picture of Daddy printed for her place. I picked out my favorite picture of Daddy. He had the biggest smile. The kind of smile where your eyes squint. I bought him a Michael Kors shirt for Christmas one year. His first designer article of clothing. His excitement shines through the photo. It was my Mom’s idea to keep the original price on the shirt. I never told him that I got it from Nordstrom’s Rack for half the ticketed price. I also printed a photo of my sister, Nicole, my Mom, and I from the New Orleans City Park from 2022. I’d arranged for my cousin to take our pictures as a surprise for my Mom. The third picture was of my BFF and I from my 40th birthday in 2021. I am in rare form in that picture. My BFF is looking beautiful, poised, and reserved as usual next to my gangster chic. Printing pictures is such a lost art. My stomach began to growl a bit. Walgreens is in the same parking lot as El Fenix. Chips and salsa, please! I treated myself to the chocolate caramel sopapilla and a tequila sunrise. I sent out a few reminders about tonight.

My neighbor came over, and we had girl chat while I finished putting on my makeup. She instructed me to put a gold shimmer in my tear duct. A tip that was the perfect addition to my nighttime look. We proceeded to drink a few shots of tequila. Well, she had shots, and I had coconut flavored tequila with water as my mixer. I arrived at Lena’s Ontechnology, and I saw my BFF already in the parking lot. She’s not known for being early for events. Her presence gave me a sense of calmness and familiarity that I needed tonight. I walked in, and there were already three more friends sitting on the barstools with huge smiles and comforting words. I felt so loved.

Yes! Let’s get this party started!!! 🎤🎶

Lesson: I do experience low vibrations from time to time. Job searching is emotionally draining. I need people. I’m energized by being around people.

Question: What energizes you? 

XOXO

-DDC

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Chapter 2, Daddy, Love Life

A Bey Sting

I was deeply moved by some Instagram posts this morning. It wasn’t envy that got to me, despite seeing all the lucky people who attended the Beyoncé concert with a surprise appearance from Meg Thee Stallion in Houston this weekend.

Instead, it brought up complex emotions, making me contemplate taking a break from social media while Beyoncé was in Texas. I was apprehensive about witnessing local folks having the time of their lives while I was at home. Surprisingly, I found myself unaffected by those posts. In fact, I enjoyed seeing everyone’s concert outfits more than watching clips from the show. 

What did sting, though, was discovering that my close friends were going to the concert, especially since no one had considered asking if I was remotely interested in going. I managed to bounce back from that as well.

Today, I came across two consecutive Instagram posts featuring famous daughters expressing gratitude for their fathers being there for them during emotional times in their lives. First, there was Sarah Jakes Roberts, whom I’m becoming a big fan of after listening to her podcasts. She shared a touching photo of her dad kissing her head before her Women Evolve Conference, capturing a moment of nerves. 

Then, it was Tia Mowry who posted a heartfelt tribute to her father, describing him as her protector and attaching several photos of cherished moments with him. Reading her caption brought tears to my eyes.

One of the many notable lines my Daddy used to say to me was, “I’m going to dance at your wedding.” Whenever I did something that made him happy or proud, he’d say it. Since he was proud or happy about almost everything I did, he said it quite often. I have numerous fond memories associated with him and this phrase. I recall growing up on Nashville Ave, where Pepsi was my Daddy’s water when he still consumed caffeine. He’d ask me to bring him a Pepsi and would express his gratitude by offering to dance at my wedding with a huge grin.

The idea of having a wedding without my Daddy feels unimaginable. If he can’t walk me down the aisle, then I don’t want to walk down the aisle at all. So, I’ve made the decision to have a courthouse marriage. No aisles. No walks. No dancing. 

XOXO

-DDC

Lesson: A wedding isn’t in my near future. Hinge has been fun. I have had a few interesting meet and greets. One official date. No marriage proposals. 

Question: What is your favorite song on Beyonce’s latest album, Renaissance?

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Chapter 2

IRL

I miss being held at night. It felt like home. I miss his consideration. He could be very thoughtful. I miss end of the day conversations. I miss feeling appreciated while preparing Hello Fresh. I miss someone else cleaning up afterwards. I miss having a handyman. I miss being in a couple. I miss having someone to do life with. I miss being an “us.”

What am I doing about it? I joined Hinge, an online dating site, a couple weeks ago. Potential matches are fewer than Tinder but more than Coffee Meets Bagel. Hinge advertises they are designed for you to get off the app with a match. I’d honestly rather meet someone in real life. IRL. Does that happen anymore? Why does dating have to be so complicated?

I’m ready for a life partner.

At least I’m ready to try.

XOXO

Lesson: I’m accepting life partner applications.

Question: Who do you know?

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Chapter 2, Daddy, Love Life

A Taste of Coffee

Coffee reached out after my Daddy’s memorial expressing his concern and offering his support. He has always been a thoughtful man. When he said, “if there’s anything that I can do to help support you, then let me know,” I’ve been offered support in the past, but I never know what I needed. I immediately knew what I needed when Coffee offered.

That night, I longed for friendly banter, companionship, and the comfort of being held. It reminded me of a line from “Waiting to Exhale” where Angela Bassett’s character, separated from her husband, admits, “I’m not like you, Gloria. I need to be held, even if it is a damn lie.” But what if it wasn’t a lie?

I eagerly awaited Coffee’s arrival, glancing through the peephole after he called from the parking lot. When he stood at my door, I sensed him collecting himself, preparing to interact with me, his ex. Encounters like these can be unpredictable. Our last phone conversation wasn’t pleasant, though not heated, just uncomfortable. Endings often carry that weight, but it wasn’t what I desired for us.

Coffee looked great, wearing a crisp white short-sleeve button-up and khaki cargo shorts, exuding a casual and classic vibe. We engaged in casual banter, catching up like old friends. He noticed that I had rearranged my furniture, making my apartment appear larger—a realization of the cute studio apartment I had always dreamed of. Chapter Two.

Have you ever experienced the realization you are living at least one of your dreams?

Coffee and I lay on top of the comforter, watching “Funny People” on Netflix. I chose the movie, as I adore Adam Sandler, and Seth Rogen’s humor always brings me joy. I needed a good laugh.

That night, Coffee held me close, and I reveled in being the little spoon. It felt incredibly comforting and pleasurable, as if the past had evaporated. It was as if he hadn’t ghosted me, as if he genuinely wanted to be with me, as if we were both at home in Chapter Two.

XOXO

Lesson: I had a taste for some Coffee this week.

Question: What’s your favorite Adam Sandler movie?

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Chapter 2

Reflections from August

1. Mason came to my infusion appointment for the first time.

2. Free burgers from Slutty Vegan w/ Mason. Tasty.

3. I love Oreo. I’m officially a dog Auntie.

4. My neighbor taught my BFF a cool way to squirt pool water.

5. Mason taught me how to skip.

6. My Aunties Mary, Gail, Karen and I sang karaoke and danced around the house. Titanium!

7. Bar Louie meetup w/ Ernest. Time for a hair cut.

8. Got my first tattoo, my Daddy’s birthday.

9. Experienced Rhythm and Bowl at Bowlero on Tuesday nights. Karaoke!

10. Had eggs and rice for breakfast in Louisiana. Delicious.

11. Discovered the neighborhood pool in Gonzales. Relaxation.

12. Edited the program at the daiquiri shop. Bellini.

13. Mason went back to school. Hello, empty nest:)

14. Posted a video of my Mom saying, “What’s that?”

15. My Daddy’s Memorial Service was beautiful. Closure.

16. My tribe showed up and out. Loved.

17. After Memorial karaoke with SuperRay at 24 hr karaoke bar. Fun.

18. Face to face counseling session w/ Hope. Release.

19. Coffee held me. Ahh.

20. Spent quality time with BFF. Understanding.

21. Mom gave words of affirmation several times. Love language.

22. Reconnected with Lalle Berry.

23. Gooden sent beautiful flowers.

24. Portable hookah from Amazon. Third time is the charm.

XOXO

Lesson: August had lots of highlights.

Question: Have you completed a monthly reset?

Monthly Reset Instructions:

Start by reflecting over the previous month. What were your highlights? Then set goals and intentions for the new month. What would you like to accomplish? How will you develop your mind? How are you going to challenge yourself this month?

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About Me, Daddy, Mental Health, Therapy

Choose Happiness

I love my Daddy.

My Daddy played the role of mediator between my mother and me. He always knew the perfect words at the perfect moment.

One Thanksgiving, my mom and Daddy came to Texas. Loaded up the car with all the ingredients needed to make gumbo. My Mom and I decided that was the year I would finally learn how to cook her gumbo.

Well. My Mom’s teaching style didn’t quite match with my learning style. I typically cooked from recipes with precise measurements. Hello Fresh comes with pictures, you know. On the other hand, my Mom is skilled at eyeball method of measurement. Simply put. This led to a lot of frustration between my Mom and I. The tension was real real thick. my Daddy sensed it being his time to step in. He pleaded, “Come on now, y’all!” Lol. Since then I have developed my own way of cooking gumbo. It’s passable. Of course it doesn’t compare to my mom’s.

To my Mama, I love you! I love you just the way you are. You embody the qualities of a Proverbs 31 woman. Just like her, you diligently take care of your responsibilities and prioritize them .. often placing them ahead of your own desires.

Mama, you have every right to prioritize your own well-being. I implore you to prioritize your own happiness. Each day, I hope you wake up and choose happiness despite the challenges. I recognize how tough it can be—it’s a going to be a difficult journey. But remember, YOU can do hard things. The key lies in your choices.

So, choose happiness.

XOXO

Lesson: Happiness is a choice.

Question: How are you prioritizing your happiness today?

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