Tag Archives: Black American

Chapter 2, Mental Health, Where to?

Adjusting

I’ve been in Louisiana for 70 days now, and I’m just about settled into my space. I have one moving box left to unpack—shoes. It’s amazing how many shoes I have, considering I wear the same pink flip-flops on a regular basis.

I know to clean the guest bathroom every Friday and take the trash out on Tuesday evenings.

I’ve got a couple of churches on my radar and have selected a local Toastmasters club to join.

I know of two taco spots with great deals. Mi Padres has a Taco Tuesday special: three tacos and a margarita for $15.

I started working as a bartender at a daiquiri shop three miles away and had an interview with PJ’s Coffee today, which went well.

Mom and I have developed a good rhythm. I enjoy quality time with my mom and Mason. We saw Inside Out 2 together. Great movie. I’ve made a few connections with old friends.

I was introduced to a very nice cigar bar in town. Good vibes. Great music. Perhaps I enjoyed the venue more because of who I was with than because of the venue itself. Perhaps.

How long does it take to start over? I am starting over in my forties. I have the opportunity to choose my identity. I am trying to figure it out as I go.

Lesson: It is starting to feel like home.

Question: Daiquiris or coffee?

DDC

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About Me, Chapter 2, Mental Health

Reset

I absolutely love a reset. Yearly reset. Monthly reset. Weekly reset. Daily reset. A reset is a chance to start over. A reset is the opportunity of a new beginning. 

“In the canvas of life, a new beginning is the brushstroke that paints the beauty of possibility. It’s not just a chance to start over; it’s an opportunity to craft a masterpiece, a chance to get it right, and an embrace of the endless potential that unfolds with every fresh start.”

I love to watch YouTube videos of people conducting their own resets. My favorite YouTuber MuchelleB is famous (to me) for the reset. She walks us through her resets with her Australian accent and I am always engrossed. So intrigued that I have rewatched her videos from 3-4 years ago with patience. It’s amusing to watch her older resets as she is using platforms that I am unfamiliar with. Have you ever heard of Things 3? 

Every new year I make a list of lofty goals in several areas of my life that I dream to achieve during the year. I would spend weeks creating elaborate vision boards of my dreams for a successful year. Then I would not refer to that vision board until the next year to create the new vision. 

This year is different. Totally different. In my Tamar Braxton voice. This year I am reviewing my annual goals on a weekly basis. Making plans for that week to progress towards the vision. 

“A goal without a plan is just a wish, a dream waiting for the blueprint of action to bring it to life.”

How did I plan to achieve the beautiful elaborate vision board without a plan? Hence, the weekly reset. On a weekly basis I review the goals for the year and plan what needs to happen that week in order to achieve the bigger picture. This year I am using the tools I have learned from watching countless YouTube videos on how to achieve the desires of my heart. 

DDC

Lesson: A reset is a weekly must. 

Question: How do you prepare for a new week? A new month? A new year? 

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About Me, Daddy, Mental Health, Therapy

Choose Happiness

I love my Daddy.

My Daddy played the role of mediator between my mother and me. He always knew the perfect words at the perfect moment.

One Thanksgiving, my mom and Daddy came to Texas. Loaded up the car with all the ingredients needed to make gumbo. My Mom and I decided that was the year I would finally learn how to cook her gumbo.

Well. My Mom’s teaching style didn’t quite match with my learning style. I typically cooked from recipes with precise measurements. Hello Fresh comes with pictures, you know. On the other hand, my Mom is skilled at eyeball method of measurement. Simply put. This led to a lot of frustration between my Mom and I. The tension was real real thick. my Daddy sensed it being his time to step in. He pleaded, “Come on now, y’all!” Lol. Since then I have developed my own way of cooking gumbo. It’s passable. Of course it doesn’t compare to my mom’s.

To my Mama, I love you! I love you just the way you are. You embody the qualities of a Proverbs 31 woman. Just like her, you diligently take care of your responsibilities and prioritize them .. often placing them ahead of your own desires.

Mama, you have every right to prioritize your own well-being. I implore you to prioritize your own happiness. Each day, I hope you wake up and choose happiness despite the challenges. I recognize how tough it can be—it’s a going to be a difficult journey. But remember, YOU can do hard things. The key lies in your choices.

So, choose happiness.

XOXO

Lesson: Happiness is a choice.

Question: How are you prioritizing your happiness today?

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About Me, Chapter 2, Mental Health

Sadness

Sadness

Have you ever seen the movie Inside Out? It’s a Pixar cartoon that I connect with …inside out.

The main character is a happy 11-year-old whose world turns upside-down when she and her parents move to San Francisco. Riley’s emotions try to guide her through this difficult, life-changing event. However, the stress of the move brings Sadness to the forefront.

Let me introduce you to Sadness. In a moment of extreme despair, Sadness kicks her leg up letting Joy know that if she wanted Sadness to move then Joy had to drag Sadness to the destination.

I know Sadness. I know her very well. She’s been with me these last few days. Lying on the floor with her leg kicked up demanding Joy to show up in a big way.

XOXO

Lesson: Leg in the air.

Question: When’s the last time you experienced Joy?

#ddcandthecity

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Career, Chapter 2, Mental Health

Rejection

I didn’t get the job. After three interviews and a drive to New Orleans, I received an email stating, “I’m sorry that this one didn’t work out – it was a really tough decision but we enjoyed speaking with you and appreciate all the time you took to meet with us.”

I appreciate the semi-personalized rejection email over a generic computer generated email. However, what I really would have appreciated is a detailed explanation of why they decided not to move forward. Did I not have enough experience? Were my salary expectations out of range? Did the HR Director notice my disturbed facial expression when she said she believes HR should be 100% onsite? I’ll never know the true reason. Organizations are terrified of litigation they rarely give the real reason you didn’t get the offer.

Rejection, whether it is from a potential career opportunity or from the cute guy across the bar at brunch . . . hurts.

To be honest, I did not want that job. Needed? Yes! Insurance isn’t free. Wanted? No!! It was in recruiting and the job posting emphasized, must love recruiting. I do not love recruiting. I tolerate recruiting for the greater good. Insurance! I do not love being 100% onsite. I do not love certain aspects of the role including the need to actively source and pipeline passive candidates.

Hmmm. Maybe the role wasn’t for me. Maybe God told them to pick somebody else to do it. . . Maybe rejection was for my good.

XOXO

Lesson: I am down … but I am not out.

Question: How do you handle rejection?

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Chapter 2, Mason

An Inauguration

Proud parent moment. Mason Riley has officially joined the workforce!

Mason started begging for a job in his junior year of high school. I was adamantly opposed to him working. I said, “you have the rest of your life to have a job.” I understood his desire for his own money, but I also knew I would make sure he had everything he needed. Mason doesn’t ask for much. He chooses to go without rather than asking me. I believe he’s afraid to be a burden even though I reassure him that is what parents are for.

Now, he is six months away from being 21 years old. It’s the summer before his junior year of college. He’s a man. A man needs to feel the ability to provide. I believe it’s time.

He’s been applying for part time jobs since May and finally landed his role at the neighborhood movie theater. A walkable commute for his first gig. He loves movies. I mean REALLY loves movies. Working at the theater is a dream come true for him. Free movies. The fact that it’s a walkable distance from the apartment is a dream come true for me.

XOXO

Lesson: My baby boy is officially a man.

Question: What was your first job?

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Chapter 2, Love Life

Retrospective

I am in the process of a career pivot. I’ve been in talent acquisition for 10+ years and have lost the love I initially had. I am interested in transitioning to project management. I attended a project management professional exam preparation class two weeks back. A wonderful experience. I enjoy being a student. The instructor was a very knowledgeable Black woman who was unusually enamored with the Olympics named Jackie O. Every example went back to an element of the Olympics in a project management context. The real life examples made the difficult curriculum significantly easier to digest.

She introduced the concept of a retrospective early on. A retrospective provides a structured opportunity for groups to discuss successes, challenges, and areas for development in order to make informed decisions and adjustments going forward.

Ever interact with someone and immediately recognize they have a different approach to dating? I had a first date recently. Drinks. He chose the location. Hayride Scandal in Baton Rouge. I appreciate effort being exhibited in the initial stages. There’s something about a guy planning the date that is a real turn on.

The atmosphere of the venue was a definite vibe. Mood lighting. Bartender was a mixologist. Drinks were made with style and precision. Our conversation was a mixture of engaging and hilarious. A man who makes me laugh is a definite short cut to get into my heart. He knew the cheat code early on.

The next day he asked what were my thoughts on the date. Initially, I was so taken back by the question I had no idea how to answer. The question was a very new experience for me. He asked what went well and what would I have changed about the date. Wait, is this a date retrospective? The combination of the pretty amazing first date with his desire to confirm I also thought the date was indeed amazing has my interest in him solidified.

Cheers to new beginnings!

XOXO

Lesson: He has demonstrated his ability to have intimate conversation and it’s only been a week. In our short time together, I can already see his ability to positively contribute to Chapter Two. With his encouragement, I downloaded Duolingo and started learning a new language. 7 day streak. I have also downloaded Vocabulary, a word a day app to enhance my lexicon. He uses words like ostentatious and amalgamation in casual.

Question: What green flags do you look for in the early dating stages?

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Chapter 2, Love Life

Farewell

I usually wake up before my 7am alarm. I rinse my mug from the night before. A birthday present from a friend. I love filling my mug from the filtered water spout of my side by side fridge. My new apartment comes with filtered water. It’s a first for me. Chapter Two. The little things mean so much to me. I put the cup in the microwave for 2 minutes then head the two to three steps to my dining table to take my meds. The microwave beeps, I add cinnamon dolce skinny syrup and three ice cubes and stir. I like stirring the ice until it melts. It has a calming effect to the moment. My soul is soothed by a cup of warm tea.

Coffee. It was a beautiful moment in time.

XOXO

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Chapter 2, Where to?

Last Day

Friday, I received an email from my boss saying to close all requisitions. Wait, what? As a recruiter, requisitions are my lifeline to production. Without requisitions I essentially do not have any work to do. Immediately I knew. In 30 minutes I was heading to run my errands to prepare for my weekend couples camping trip. I refused to let this email affect my mindset over the weekend. I closed the laptop and said, “I’ll worry about this on Monday.”

I received an email instructing my team there were a few requisitions that we could open up based on business need on Monday. Cool. I have work. I went from 15+ skill sets to hire down to 2. Hmmm, is that enough?

Wednesday at 8:23pm I received a calendar invite for Thursday. The meeting was scheduled for 12:30pm entitled “Talent/ Business Communications” from my boss’s boss’s boss. This is it. I knew immediately. I am being laid off.

I started my Thursday listening to “God Provides” by Tamela Mann. Took a relaxing walk at Katy Trail. I’m leaning in on my love of the outdoors these days. I talked to other colleagues who received the same invitation and got the scoop on what to expect. Leading up to the call I researched the questions I needed to ask when being laid off. I was ready. The managing director of talent and a human resources professional were both on the line. Here we go. The director delivered the message with such sincerity. Made the words hurt a little less. Business conditions. Salary continuation. Eligible for rehire. It was a lot of information in a very quick call but there would be an email to follow up. My time at D ended Friday at noon. Numb.

God Provides

I am currently receiving messages on LinkedIn stating, “congratulations on your work anniversary.” I started May 24, 2021. Ending in May 19, 2023. A few days short of 2 whole years.

Each message is like a punch in the gut.

XOXO

Lesson: Ready for my next opportunity.

Question: Got any leads?

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Chapter 2, Love Life

Tote & Carry

The gate attendant scanned my boarding pass and then asked me to wait while he then pushed another pre boarder down the ramp. I thought this whole interaction was a bit strange. Why did I need to stand for pre boarding holding my heavy cute duffle if he knew I would still be waiting. Annoyed. He comes back to the gate. This time he offered to carry my duffle. It’s a super cute pink duffle from Tote & Carry that I overstuffed and was definitely struggling to carry.

Note: I did a google search for a weekender bag a few years ago. Immediately Tote & Carry started popping up on all of my social media. Uber cute, slightly affordable and best of all black owned brand. Obviously, I added to cart and eventually I placed an order.

Once we walk to the plane he carefully hands me my duffle and a folded piece of white paper. I didn’t remember dropping my boarding pass or any papers. I said, thank you,” put the paper in my backpack and headed to find a good window seat.

Third row. Right side. Window seat. Bliss. Oh! Let me see what was on this paper I dropped.

He wrote on a piece or paper and old school slid his number in my hands and I didn’t even realize it. Blushing.

XOXO

Lesson: I’m even cute at 5am with only a little mascara and SPF. Good Molecules Dark Spot Serum is definitely decreasing the hyperpigmentation on my cheeks. #winning

Question: What’s something someone did that flattered you lately?

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