Tag Archives: Management

Career, Chapter 2, Mental Health

Rejection

I didn’t get the job. After three interviews and a drive to New Orleans, I received an email stating, “I’m sorry that this one didn’t work out – it was a really tough decision but we enjoyed speaking with you and appreciate all the time you took to meet with us.”

I appreciate the semi-personalized rejection email over a generic computer generated email. However, what I really would have appreciated is a detailed explanation of why they decided not to move forward. Did I not have enough experience? Were my salary expectations out of range? Did the HR Director notice my disturbed facial expression when she said she believes HR should be 100% onsite? I’ll never know the true reason. Organizations are terrified of litigation they rarely give the real reason you didn’t get the offer.

Rejection, whether it is from a potential career opportunity or from the cute guy across the bar at brunch . . . hurts.

To be honest, I did not want that job. Needed? Yes! Insurance isn’t free. Wanted? No!! It was in recruiting and the job posting emphasized, must love recruiting. I do not love recruiting. I tolerate recruiting for the greater good. Insurance! I do not love being 100% onsite. I do not love certain aspects of the role including the need to actively source and pipeline passive candidates.

Hmmm. Maybe the role wasn’t for me. Maybe God told them to pick somebody else to do it. . . Maybe rejection was for my good.

XOXO

Lesson: I am down … but I am not out.

Question: How do you handle rejection?

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Chapter 2, Where to?

Last Day

Friday, I received an email from my boss saying to close all requisitions. Wait, what? As a recruiter, requisitions are my lifeline to production. Without requisitions I essentially do not have any work to do. Immediately I knew. In 30 minutes I was heading to run my errands to prepare for my weekend couples camping trip. I refused to let this email affect my mindset over the weekend. I closed the laptop and said, “I’ll worry about this on Monday.”

I received an email instructing my team there were a few requisitions that we could open up based on business need on Monday. Cool. I have work. I went from 15+ skill sets to hire down to 2. Hmmm, is that enough?

Wednesday at 8:23pm I received a calendar invite for Thursday. The meeting was scheduled for 12:30pm entitled “Talent/ Business Communications” from my boss’s boss’s boss. This is it. I knew immediately. I am being laid off.

I started my Thursday listening to “God Provides” by Tamela Mann. Took a relaxing walk at Katy Trail. I’m leaning in on my love of the outdoors these days. I talked to other colleagues who received the same invitation and got the scoop on what to expect. Leading up to the call I researched the questions I needed to ask when being laid off. I was ready. The managing director of talent and a human resources professional were both on the line. Here we go. The director delivered the message with such sincerity. Made the words hurt a little less. Business conditions. Salary continuation. Eligible for rehire. It was a lot of information in a very quick call but there would be an email to follow up. My time at D ended Friday at noon. Numb.

God Provides

I am currently receiving messages on LinkedIn stating, “congratulations on your work anniversary.” I started May 24, 2021. Ending in May 19, 2023. A few days short of 2 whole years.

Each message is like a punch in the gut.

XOXO

Lesson: Ready for my next opportunity.

Question: Got any leads?

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Therapy

The “Shoulds”

You should have to a 4 year degree.

You should meet a nice guy.

You should get a stable job.

You should be married.

You should work hard and get promoted to management.

You should buy a single family home in the suburbs and get a dog.

You should have 2 children.

You should be promoted to senior management.

You should put your kids in a bunch of activities and drive a mini van to haul their soccer equipment.

You should sell your starter home and buy something bigger, drive a luxury vehicle, go on fabulous vacations and have your friends over for catered dinner parties.

The “shoulds.”

Where did they come from? I never had a consultation with the leader of the “shoulds” where I was given the rundown. I just know them. I see them lived out. I attend the celebrations, like the posts, and write “congratulations” on their social media every time someone checks a “should” off of the list. Graduation, engagement, bridal shower, baby shower, house warming, anniversary etc. I “should” have a celebration too. New blog shower🙂

My entire life I have attempted to live by the “shoulds” and consistently failed. Failures that have left me feeling…. less than. Inadequate. Like I am a failure. Like I’ve lived my life wrong. Have I failed at life?

4 year degree? CHECK

Nice guy? NO

Stable job? CHECK**

Married? NO

Management? NO

Single family home? Dog? NO

Two kids? NO

Senior Management? NO

Mini van? NEVER

Big house? Luxury vehicle? Fabulous vacations? Catered dinner parties? NO***

If I compare my life to this list of “shoulds.” A list that I essentially created on my own. Then, I would be a failure. Why have I created a list that I can’t and didn’t complete? I will discuss this with my counselor on Thursday.

I’m ready to burn the “shoulds.” I’m ready to accept myself as I am. To love myself just the way I am. I am a beautiful masterpiece and also a work in progress… at the same time.

There are no “shoulds.” Wait. There’s one.

I should do whatever I need to do to fight for my happiness and live a life that I am proud of.

XOXO

Lesson: Be like Rhianna, and “live your life hey, ayy, ayy, ayy”

Question: Am I the only one with the “shoulds?” What “shoulds” have you told yourself?

**It took me 40 years to land the stable job.

***My vacations are pretty amazing. For clarity, “fabulous,” is on a whole different level. First class not Wanna Get Away.

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