Tag Archives: DDCANDTHECITY

About Me, Humor, Love Life, Mental Health

Talking talking talking

Today was such a good day. Started my day in the office. I dressed like that girl and presented like a boss. I was late. That’s irrelevant:) Next was my biweekly meeting with my leader where we laughed at delusional candidates and discussed Amazon finds. What was next? A few administrative tasks. A little social media. A call with a candidate on the verge of an offer to discuss salary. Then, the best part of MY workday. My midday nap. I got up and got completed some professional productivity combined with some personal creativity. I signed up for a December workout program in Grand Prairie. Oh my! I do not like to drive long distances. However, I will do it for results. Pretty excited. I’ve seen some drastic results. Such a good day that when evening came I felt like talking, talking, talking. I get that from Funky Dineva. I love me some old school Funky Dineva.

I called my mom. What did we talk about? Let me think. An update on my dad. Made a decision about Christmas plans. So excited. I’ve made some great plans. I can’t wait to reveal the surprise to her. What else? Hair products! My mom has been having trouble finding the perfect products for her hair. It been fun playing with all of the different brands she has auditioned. We talked about watching HGTV. I love watching the different shows. Love it or List it is my current favorite.

Next I talked to my BFF. It was a quick update on the fantastic plans I have for my mom’s Christmas gift this year. We touched on a few other topics but nothing notable.

My married friend was next. My Godchild did not want to say “hello” to me. That’s cool. I’ve had that feeling so I’ll let it slide. Gave my friend an update on the specialists that my neurologist has referred me too. It is all exciting. My medical team is coming along beautifully. I had to make a note about my foot. It feels like there’s a grip holding it tight after I walk for a little while. It is a new “thing.” I don’t know what to call it. Maybe, symptom? Anyway. It is a new way that multiple sclerosis is presenting for me. She rushed me off the phone to have a good conversation with her husband. Cute.

Then I called…hmm. He needs a nickname. Let me think. OMG of course! He will be called AfroTech. We met at the very end of the last day of the Expo Hall at AfroTech . Witty conversation. Very flirtatious. Spoke of a potential future. We walked down Sixth Street in Austin and eventually stopped at a bar with live music. The generous bartender was a chatty young Becky. I loved how AfroTech was able to keep up the conversation. Points. I love personality. No wallflowers for me please. I called AfroTech and we talked a bit. I have an interview on Thursday morning. He had some insightful tips on interview preparation, words of encouragement, and then had to get off of the phone to finish with his homework. Points.

Parking Lot was next. A dude whose nickname has been declared as Parking Lot. There was minimal small talk. Random thoughts from a gummy. Insightful revelations on my part. Then let me tell you what this dude said! He told me that he doesn’t like small talk. He only wants to talk on the phone when there is critical information. Otherwise, he “would prefer to text and multitask.” Well, that was fun. Delete. No need to keep his number, I will not be using it again. Another one bites the dust.

XOXO

Lesson: I am a talker.

Question: Tell me about the last time you felt talking talking talking!

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About Me, Mental Health, Therapy

Black Friday

Spent Black Friday in the emergency waiting room.

On Thanksgiving day, my mom and I went to visit my dad in the behavioral health unit of Baton Rouge General. My dad has had severe mental health issues my entire life. Bipolar, depression, anxiety, and possibly schizophrenia. He has spent the majority of this last year in and out of mental institutions. My dad’s psychiatrist of the last 30+ years died in 2021. The new doctors keep changing his medication and now my dad isn’t the same anymore.

Before we left the house my mom call and asked if we could bring him Thanksgiving dinner and the facility said, “outside food is not allowed in the unit.” We were escorted to the visitor’s room and a few minutes later an aide rolled my dad into the room in a wheelchair. He has been having trouble walking for a while. He uses a walker at home. Seeing him in the wheelchair made it all real to me. My dad needs a wheelchair. He did not know that I was coming with my mom so when his eyes caught my eyes the excitement was undeniable.

It was my first visit seeing him in the hospital. My dad has been in and out of mental institutions my entire life for erratic behavior. However, I can count on one hand how many times I have actually seen him in that state. My parent’s still think of me as a their baby. I am the youngest of two. They have sheltered me from the whole story my entire life. On the other hand, my sister is older. She was not able to receive that same shelter growing up unfortunately. Therefore, she and I have different relationships with our dad.

The visit was short, but pleasant. No appearance of erratic behavior. His words were clear. He apologized for ruining the holiday and my birthday. He did not ruin anything. My mom was able to sneak in some Barq’s root beer for him. He smiled. He was happy. We talked about cars and had some small talk. He remembered a conversation he had with my son from the summer about Mason’s Thanksgiving plans. My dad adores my son. Mason is my dad’s only grandson.

This last week the doctors were changing some of my dad’s medications and he would be ready for discharge on Black Friday.

Black Friday came. My mom went to get him. I met them at the front door. This time when my dad’s eyes caught mine he started crying. Wailing. I did not know what to do. For some reason, the only words that came to me were, “how are you doing?” I was pretty sure that those were not the right words and this was not the right time. I guided him to his room. I stood next to him in silence as he continued to cry.

This was all unreal to me. My dad sat in the room for hours crying and refusing to eat anything. This is how they discharged him? Is he somehow better? Cannot be! Seeing my dad this way was extremely painful. My mom has to function like this daily!?! How?!?

How does it make me feel? Let me get my feelings wheel out.

Helpless. I feel helpless. I don’t have the words to say that will fix it all. I don’t know what to do. How can I help him? How can I help my mom as his caregiver?

What am I supposed to do?

Xoxo

Lesson: Make sure that I have long term care coverage.

Question: The roles are changing as we age. Who am I now that I’m no longer the baby of the family?

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About Me, Where to?

Chapter Two

I heard a rumor. Not sure how true it is based on the source. A former neighbor. Introductions at the package lockers. Used to meet at the tucked away pool and just vibe. He would sit with his legs in the pool and make flirty comments. I would float. My legs wrapped around his legs. Yellow noodle, waterproof phone case and Apple Music. Renaissance playing on the Bluetooth speaker.

Looked for a photo of me in my apartment pool. Found picture of me from a cruise stop instead. You get the vibe though:)

The rumor is I’m no longer able to renew my lease. When it expires, I’ll have to move. Either to a renovated unit in my same complex of the last five years OR out of the complex completely. WTF.

I live in a 2 bedroom, 1 bath, 900 square feet apartment in Dallas, TX. One block from West Plano. If that means anything to you. White appliances, carpet, laminate countertops, and basic wood like cabinets. My rent averages $1350 – $1365 per month including those stupid fees. If I choose to move in the same complex, to an identical floor plan with the new upgrades and amenities, then my rent would be approximately $1800!

Well damn.

Here’s the thing. I thought my lease expired December 2023. However, I called to confirm. Bruh! My lease expires March 2023. Da Fuk?! I’ve only got 4 months to move.

“What’s the plan, Phil?”

Do I sell everything (except my newly upholstered show stopping ottoman), pack my compact SUV, and see where the wind blows?

I’ve spent the last 17 years worried about school districts, basketball courts and commutes. My life has changed. An empty nest. 100% remote benefits. Praise God. A chapter two. My “must have” list has officially changed. . .

But, to what? Hmmm. 🤔

I used to dream of living in a right sized place like Carrie Bradshaw’s Manhattan apartment. Do you remember her apartment? Books from the floors to the ceiling to the left of the front entrance. A tiny living room only big enough for a handmade accent chair from the finest wood. Oh Aidan. An unused oven whose only purpose would be to store sweaters. Or in my case the occasional chocolate muffin shaped brownies. Each with just one perfectly positioned Oreo in the middle. Several pints of cookies and cream in the freezer. A closet that I could access directly from the bathroom. I want to be able to get out of the shower, lotion up on a cozy chaise lounge all while looking directly at my daily options. A capsule wardrobe hanging perfectly colored code… that I never wear. Matching ath-leisure sets from Target in a pile on the floor.

Well. That’s it. Closet door accessible from shower. My new “must have.”

XOXO

Lesson: DDC is on the move.

Question: What are your “must haves?”

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About Me, Mental Health, Therapy

Blah, Blah, Blah!!

I feel blah. I can’t quite put my finger on the cause. I have been feeling this way for going on two weeks now. I don’t think it is as severe as actual depression, but there are definite similarities. I don’t have a desire to do much of anything. Getting out of the bed takes an act of congress. I went to do my favorite thing in the world, karaoke, and barely sang at all. I just sat in the corner quietly. I hadn’t had any ideas of things to write about in this blog that I love until now.

I have a couple guesses of possible reasons:

  1. My money is hilarious. I have been spending a whole lot and saving very little. I have literally been robbing my future self. I have made too much this year and have nothing to show for it. Well, I do have a winning smile. Best money ever spent!!
  2. I have a friend who is going through several traumatic life events. I am unable to find the right words (or any words for that matter) to console in this situation and it hurts me dearly to see them suffering. Luckily, I do not believe my role in the friendship has ever been “advice giver” or even “voice of reason.” I am the friend who is there to listen and interject with humor from time to time.
  3. I love the company that I work for more than anything. The culture is supportive and collaborative. The benefits are remarkable. The people are genuine. However, I am no longer in love with my role. I have been in the recruiting space for so long that the thrill is gone. I wonder if I have been blah when it comes to my work for so long that I no longer find the joy. I am making steps to do a career transition to project management.
  4. It could possibly be the MS thing. I had an expensive surgery to combat my overactive bladder on September 26 and I have yet to see clear results. The doctor did say it will take at least two weeks.
  5. I am concerned about my diminishing cognitive reasoning skills. I had a mild panic attack after listening to a webinar discussing a new work related process a couple weeks ago. I could not comprehend anything the speaker said. She sounded like Charlie Brown’s mom. Wah wah wah. I immediately thought MS had fucked my brain. I think of myself as a relatively smart individual, but that day I felt dumb. Afterwards, I spoke to several other people (without MS) and they also were thoroughly confused by the presentation. I confided my feelings to my old manager. Turns out she felt the exact same way. She also said that she hoped none of her subordinates asked her to explain the process because she couldn’t.

I love personal development. In an effort to get out of this funk. I have been watching a lot of YouTube videos talking about “what to do when you are feeling blah,” “how to change your life in 6 months,” and “how to find motivation when you don’t feel like it.” YouTube is gold. I swear you can learn everything one tutorial at a time. I got my degree in makeup application from YouTube University a few years back. Summa Cum Laude.

The last one I watched had a very good suggestion:

“Find gratitude in every little thing. Get specific about all the things in life that you are grateful for. Open up your journal or a Word doc and start writing a list of sentences that begin with, “I am grateful…” or “I am blessed…”

– Lavendaire

Here it goes:

  • I am blessed to have an incredible human as a son. Mason Riley is a living prayer. He is extremely thoughtful. He inherited my sense of humor and can keep me laughing. He knows immediately when I just need a hug and a laugh.
  • I am blessed to have a mother who is a real life superwoman. She is a rock for everyone in her life. She is giving. She is able to complete any task she sets her mind to from reupholstering an entire living room to sewing every dress for an entire wedding party. I aspire to half the woman that she is.
  • I am blessed that my parents are alive, thriving and still married after nearly 50 years. I get to see what for better or worse looks like from the inside.
  • I am blessed that my bills are paid (except my phone bill. It will get paid when it gets paid) and I lack nothing.
  • I am blessed to finally work for an organization that genuinely makes me smile to think about. I am blessed to be 100% remote and not have to go into an office unless I choose to.
  • I am blessed my father is out of the hospital and doing remarkably well. He is so encouraging about everything that I do. I could say just about anything and then my dad will respond with pure delight. I could say “Daddy, I crossed the street today.” He would respond, “That’s so nice Badness. I knew you could do it!”
  • I am blessed to have a group of solid friends who are able to comfort with scripture and not gossip. Who show up for me whether I ask them to fly to Atlanta for my birthday very close to a holiday or when I need a ride to the emergency room because I cannot walk.
  • I am blessed to have a BFF who is by my side every step of the way. We’ve been friends for so long (30+ years) that I truly believe she knows me better than I know myself.
  • I am blessed to have come to the realization that I need to make big changes with my money management before a major financial emergency occurred.
  • I am blessed to have a soul mate. No, it isn’t a love interest. It’s a best friend who cherishes me, looks out for my best interest at all times, and is usually the first to notice when I am feeling blah.
  • I am blessed to have Hope, my counselor. She makes me think about things in new and insightful ways. She holds me accountable. I am able to tell her the dirty details of my life without judgement and receive wisdom in return. Plus, she laughs at my witty banter. I really love that.
  • I am blessed to have this blog as a means to journal my feelings. A place to be vulnerable. Readers have been tremendously supportive and engaged. Hope read my blog before our session yesterday and had very kind words (she also mentioned spelling and grammatical errors).

Writing this list was an excellent suggestion. I feel better. Energized. Not quite ready for world domination, but close.

XOXO

Lesson: “It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.” – Germany Kent

Question: Do you ever feel blah? What is your routine for fighting feelings of blah? Any suggestions for me going forward?

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About Me, Chapter 2, Mental Health, Multiple Sclerosis

Botox

I had surgery this morning. Onabotulinumtoxin Injection. I had Botox injected into my bladder to help with my overactive bladder. This is the second time that I have it so I knew what to expect. It is an outpatient procedure.

How do I feel? Physically, like a regular day. No side effects or down time needed. Mentally, I am sad. I have an incurable disease that has created the need to wear incontinence underwear. It is far from sexy. I feel the opposite of sexy wearing them. But unfortunately, I wear them consistently. Therefore, I had Botox injected into my bladder. I had the surgery with the hope that I could stop wearing incontinence underwear for six months.

Occasionally when things are quiet on the MS front, I almost forget that I have it. Well, “forget” is a strong word. I do not think about the fact that I have it. Today is not one of those days.

XOXO

Lesson: Stop buying the higher priced incontinence underwear that look like underwear. No one is seeing them either way.

Question: What do you do when you are feeling sad?

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Love Life

John Carl Williams

I met my original work friend at The Common Table for their Hip Hop Brunch one Sunday. I was hella cute with a black and white striped dress and some leopard wedges. I was ready to catch somebody’s son.

Legs. Legs. Legs.

My friend and I sat at the bar like single ladies should. My seat was next to a guy who was by himself. I smiled. We had some witty banter. He had a vibe. He wasn’t conventionally attractive. His personality made him attractive. His name is going to be John Carl Williams (JCW). I have a thing for saying full names. I can’t explain why because I really don’t know.

JCW was suave, witty and had a sense of humor. An excellent sense of humor. I’m smiling just thinking about him. His personality was cool enough to where all three of us were able to have a conversation. Lots of laughs. JCW and I exchanged numbers. Mission accomplished. I caught somebody’s son.

He was gazing at me and not the camera. Butterflies.

Our first date was to RA Sushi for all day happy hour. This was when I was heavy into fitness and healthy eating choices. My body looked so good. I wore these high waisted black leggings that made my legs look luscious and my belly look nonexistent. It turned out that RA didn’t have the happy hour so we ended up at Pluckers. I smile when I recall our first date. Our interaction was as if we had known each other for years. Easy conversation. We laughed. We drank. We took shots with his friends on FaceTime. It was a complete vibe. I immediately felt like he was my one. My one in a million.

Easy Conversation – Jill Scott

I realize now it is completely outrageous for me to think he was my anything after a couple hours. I fall hard. I fall deep. And I fall quick. If there is a vibe and he shows a little bit of interest, then I get butterflies in my stomach and start fantasizing about the future. For the record, this is something that I am currently working on with Hope. I get so wrapped up in the fantasy. Instantaneously. I say things like, “love of my life,” and “this is the one” before I know their last name.

Red is my favorite color.

JCW and I met for drinks one Sunday evening at the Red Crab. They make crawfish that is almost as good as it is at home. Louisiana. I wore a black dress that fit as if it was made for my body. We sat at the bar, had friendly banter with the bartenders. He was outgoing like me. I had a 1942 tequila shot for the first and only time. I loved JCW’s presence. He was extremely witty with a touch of sarcasm. Like me. He consistently wore Air Max. I believe he had every color of the ‘97. The same ones that I have a few pairs of. A common interest. In my freshman year of college I would only date guys who wore Air Max. That shoe does something for me. His shoes made me think we had a magical connection. He drove a red Dodge Challenger. He wore a red sweatshirt when we met. My favorite color. Irrelevant common interests that meant something special to me. It was meant to be. I imagined telling our grandchildren we met by chance and were immediately inseparable. My happily ever after. Complete delusion.

He asked about my day. That afternoon I went to brunch at Kona Grill with a friend. He asked, “was it a date?” It wasn’t. I’d went to brunch with the same female friend I was with when we originally met. She and I have monthly brunches.

I responded by acting coy. Flustered. Like I didn’t want to say that I was with a guy earlier the same day. I excused myself and went to the restroom. Dramatic. It gave the impression that I had had a date with a man. I didn’t out right lie. But, I did at the same time.

What was I thinking?!? I felt he would be more interested. If I was seeing other people, then I’d look attractive. He would then stake his claim on me, say he didn’t want me to see other people, and we would become exclusive. If you read my first blog, then you’d know this is not the first time I made this stupid decision. I hadn’t learned the lesson.

As you can imagine he didn’t respond as I thought he would. He became cold towards me. Calls became infrequent. I did eventually tell him the truth. By that time, his opinion of me had already changed. I was an immature liar. Our interactions were no longer good vibes. Dates became nonexistent. Texts became one word responses. There was no happily ever after.

This was more than a year ago now. I feel sad when thinking about him, my stupid response and how he acted afterwards. Regretful and immature. To be honest, I think about him a lot. Still. The fantasy of our happily ever after. I want to call him. I really do. Thankfully, I deleted his information months ago. I knew I’d want to call. And I knew he wouldn’t answer if I did.

XOXO

Lesson: Saying that you are seeing other people does not make you irresistible.

Question: I have two levels, complete delusion or complete disinterest. Will I find my in between?

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Multiple Sclerosis

Grace

A multiple sclerosis (MS) diagnosis is considered a disability. I have a whole disability. Wow. Intellectually, I know that I have MS. However, I still forget that I need accommodations in certain instances because of my disability. I cannot do everything I used to do. I have limitations. Sad face.

My major limitation is that I have an intense bladder control issue. I accommodate for it 90% of the time. I have accepted it. I have had an issue controlling my bladder for 20+ years. It’s a part of my story. I pee. Often. In odd locations. I once pulled into the U-turn lane on highway 114. Opened my door and squatted right there!!! The urge comes immediately and at that minute everything stops until I am able to void. I know this. The people in my life all know this.

I’m currently on a plane headed back home to DFW reflecting on the events of the wellness weekend in Arizona to celebrate my dear friend’s milestone birthday. There were six absolutely dynamic women. Of the 6, I knew only one very well. The birthday girl. The vibe was relaxation, wellness and laughter. I truly loved every aspect of my trip. It was the perfect time getaway from all responsibility. Everything was planned perfectly. I didn’t have to think about anything. Ultimate bliss.

Strike a pose.

I only mentioned my condition in passing on the trip. Every single lady extended me grace to my limitations. We went on a two hour road trip to Sedona. I, of course, had to stop several times for restroom breaks. Not one person complained. Nobody said, “AGAIN?!?” They even would check with me to see if I needed to stop before I even had to think about. The Arizona heat was close to the temperature of hell. It was hot. MS tends to flare in the heat. They would tell me to get out of the direct sun. “Try sitting in this shaded area,” “stay out of the deep end (I am not a strong swimmer),” and “let me hold your hand as you get out of the van.” There was genuine concern for my well-being. I felt it. It felt like love. I greatly appreciate it. I felt welcomed just as I am, bladder and all. Grace is love.

The devil started talking to me. He said, “you are handicapped.” He laughed and said, “you cannot do everything that used to.” For a moment, I listened. That damn devil is here to steal, kill and destroy. I’d like to also add that he is here to isolate. For a moment, I put my head down. I felt the sadness rising in my gut. I needed a minute. Relax. Relate. Release.

But then I heard another voice. It was calm, comforting and reassuring. God is here. He said, “don’t focus on the few things that you cannot do. Instead, focus on all the other capabilities that I continue to give you.” Jesus.

I am a child of the Most High. He is my keeper, my confidant, my husband and my all. He chose me before parents knew I was coming. Praise Him! Hallelujah!! Thank you Lord. I feel so blessed right now that I could shout on this plane.

XOXO

Lesson: Jehovah Jireh. God provides.

Question: Has God talked you through a valley?

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Love Life

Stanley

My BFF and I were driving down 183 passing his exit. I asked if she was in a rush or not. No. We headed to Stanley’s.

Stanley

I knew Stanley for a while. I’d been to his place a few times and remembered the directions perfectly. Stanley and I had been situationshipping, but he hadn’t been responding to my calls lately. Which was extra weird considering that I was calling the phone that I gave him. Gosh, I was stupid. I am stupid. I used to be stupid. I won’t be stupid anymore.

BFF and I drove around the maze of the parking lot and parked Action Adventure* in the spot directly in front of his apartment. We were in her car. I figured he wouldn’t know the car. Smart, right?

I sat in the passenger seat of my BFF’s car and called Stanley thirty five times. In a row. Back to back. Why? To this day I have no Earthly idea what was my intention. What could dialing this man’s phone number, back to back, 35 times in a row accomplish? Did I think that these actions would end in a positive result? I couldn’t. Could I? Did I?

He answered.

I gasped. Shocked.

He said, “are you in front of my place?” I gasped, “huh?”

I’m sure you could imagine how that conversation went. What the hell was I thinking? What was the point? Why? Just why?!?!?! This has been 10+ years ago and I still do not know the answer.

Fast forward. I had a Black male colleague on my team for the first time in a long time and we became friends. One day we were talking about our friends and some way some how I figured out that my colleague’s best friend since youth was Stanley. You have got to be kidding me!?! Nope. Best friends! I confessed to my 35 calls from the parking lot to my colleague. We laughed. We moved on.

My team from work went to The Hideaway for happy hour on pay day and guess who wanted to come? Yep. Stanley. By this time I had told the whole team about 35. I should probably be ashamed, but it is too funny for me to hide. So when Stanley walks up everyone had a good laugh at my story again.

Stanley and I reconnected. Laughed about 35. Exchanged information and have been in touch again. For a few years. We connect every now and then. Have a few laughs and then go our separate ways.

We laughed recently. It was fun. I wondered if I’d been missing out by not taking him seriously. Could I actually be with Stanley after all of this time?

Fuck no! Stanley is still Stanleying and I do not have the energy for his level of foolishness.

We can laugh. But I’ll never cry for him again.

XOXO

Lesson: Once ‘ain’t no good’. Always ‘ain’t no good.’

Question: Why do I still entertain Stanley knowing that he ‘ain’t no good?’

*Action Adventure is when you back into a parking spot just in case you have to leave expeditiously.

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Love Life

Do you block?

Block This Caller

Today I’m talking to the single people specifically!!

You meet a guy. You hit it off. You give him your phone number. He screws up. You no longer want to communicate with him. Do you use the Block feature? Or do you just stop calling and/or answering? That is the question!

I use Block for telemarketers. No hesitation. However, in my dating life I haven’t used it.

When I cut someone from the roster I just stop calling. Majority of the time when I’ve made the “do not call” decision I guess the dudes have made the same decision because I rarely have received any follow up communication.

In special circumstances, I will delete contact information and the text conversation from my phone. He no longer exists to me. This is when I know that in an inebriated state I would have a strong desire to contact him and if I have the access to their contact information then I would definitely use it. My guess is he probably wouldn’t answer. I would get sad that he didn’t answer and mad that I called in the first place. This set of events would then cause me to eat something sweet. I’d order an Oreo Madness AND a Cinnabon Caramel Pecan Cheesecake from TGIFridays through Door Dash. Yes. I am referring to actual events that have occurred. His name is. . . John Carl Williams. The name has been changed to protect me. In the past, I would refer to him by his full government name.

I’m currently considering blocking Kramer. He keeps texting paragraphs. I’m pretty sure that he wants to ask me to give him the money he spent on me since I do not like him. He wants to talk today after work. I’m curious to hear what he has to say. I definitely will not be sending him any money. I’ll block him afterwards. I am sure this chat will be great content.

XOXO

Lesson: Just block him.

Question: Who’s the last person that you blocked?

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Multiple Sclerosis

A Year.

A year ago today I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I am sure I have had it for much longer than one year. Maybe I’ve had it all of my life. Maybe I have had it for 20 years. I am not sure when was the first time I had an uncontrollable urge to void and then chose to drop my pants in whichever parking lot I was in at that moment. I wish I knew. The moment my life’s journey changed from hopeful ignorance to life changing disability.

I want to be hopeful. I sincerely do. Sometimes. No, most times I am. Then there are the times that I cry uncontrollably. I cry because of the unknowns. Will I adjust to having to consistently wear incontinence underwear? Will I wake up one day and no longer have the use of my right eye, my left leg or one of my arms? Tear.

This post has to end on a positive, right? I have to leave some hopeful quote that I searched for on Google. Got to love the Google.

Not today.

XOXO

Lesson: Real life does not end in “happily ever after.”

Question: What was the moment your entire life changed? Do you know? Would you want to know?

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