Category Archives: Chapter 2

Chapter 2, Daddy, Love Life

A Bey Sting

I was deeply moved by some Instagram posts this morning. It wasn’t envy that got to me, despite seeing all the lucky people who attended the Beyoncé concert with a surprise appearance from Meg Thee Stallion in Houston this weekend.

Instead, it brought up complex emotions, making me contemplate taking a break from social media while Beyoncé was in Texas. I was apprehensive about witnessing local folks having the time of their lives while I was at home. Surprisingly, I found myself unaffected by those posts. In fact, I enjoyed seeing everyone’s concert outfits more than watching clips from the show. 

What did sting, though, was discovering that my close friends were going to the concert, especially since no one had considered asking if I was remotely interested in going. I managed to bounce back from that as well.

Today, I came across two consecutive Instagram posts featuring famous daughters expressing gratitude for their fathers being there for them during emotional times in their lives. First, there was Sarah Jakes Roberts, whom I’m becoming a big fan of after listening to her podcasts. She shared a touching photo of her dad kissing her head before her Women Evolve Conference, capturing a moment of nerves. 

Then, it was Tia Mowry who posted a heartfelt tribute to her father, describing him as her protector and attaching several photos of cherished moments with him. Reading her caption brought tears to my eyes.

One of the many notable lines my Daddy used to say to me was, “I’m going to dance at your wedding.” Whenever I did something that made him happy or proud, he’d say it. Since he was proud or happy about almost everything I did, he said it quite often. I have numerous fond memories associated with him and this phrase. I recall growing up on Nashville Ave, where Pepsi was my Daddy’s water when he still consumed caffeine. He’d ask me to bring him a Pepsi and would express his gratitude by offering to dance at my wedding with a huge grin.

The idea of having a wedding without my Daddy feels unimaginable. If he can’t walk me down the aisle, then I don’t want to walk down the aisle at all. So, I’ve made the decision to have a courthouse marriage. No aisles. No walks. No dancing. 

XOXO

-DDC

Lesson: A wedding isn’t in my near future. Hinge has been fun. I have had a few interesting meet and greets. One official date. No marriage proposals. 

Question: What is your favorite song on Beyonce’s latest album, Renaissance?

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Chapter 2

IRL

I miss being held at night. It felt like home. I miss his consideration. He could be very thoughtful. I miss end of the day conversations. I miss feeling appreciated while preparing Hello Fresh. I miss someone else cleaning up afterwards. I miss having a handyman. I miss being in a couple. I miss having someone to do life with. I miss being an “us.”

What am I doing about it? I joined Hinge, an online dating site, a couple weeks ago. Potential matches are fewer than Tinder but more than Coffee Meets Bagel. Hinge advertises they are designed for you to get off the app with a match. I’d honestly rather meet someone in real life. IRL. Does that happen anymore? Why does dating have to be so complicated?

I’m ready for a life partner.

At least I’m ready to try.

XOXO

Lesson: I’m accepting life partner applications.

Question: Who do you know?

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Chapter 2, Daddy, Love Life

A Taste of Coffee

Coffee reached out after my Daddy’s memorial expressing his concern and offering his support. He has always been a thoughtful man. When he said, “if there’s anything that I can do to help support you, then let me know,” I’ve been offered support in the past, but I never know what I needed. I immediately knew what I needed when Coffee offered.

That night, I longed for friendly banter, companionship, and the comfort of being held. It reminded me of a line from “Waiting to Exhale” where Angela Bassett’s character, separated from her husband, admits, “I’m not like you, Gloria. I need to be held, even if it is a damn lie.” But what if it wasn’t a lie?

I eagerly awaited Coffee’s arrival, glancing through the peephole after he called from the parking lot. When he stood at my door, I sensed him collecting himself, preparing to interact with me, his ex. Encounters like these can be unpredictable. Our last phone conversation wasn’t pleasant, though not heated, just uncomfortable. Endings often carry that weight, but it wasn’t what I desired for us.

Coffee looked great, wearing a crisp white short-sleeve button-up and khaki cargo shorts, exuding a casual and classic vibe. We engaged in casual banter, catching up like old friends. He noticed that I had rearranged my furniture, making my apartment appear larger—a realization of the cute studio apartment I had always dreamed of. Chapter Two.

Have you ever experienced the realization you are living at least one of your dreams?

Coffee and I lay on top of the comforter, watching “Funny People” on Netflix. I chose the movie, as I adore Adam Sandler, and Seth Rogen’s humor always brings me joy. I needed a good laugh.

That night, Coffee held me close, and I reveled in being the little spoon. It felt incredibly comforting and pleasurable, as if the past had evaporated. It was as if he hadn’t ghosted me, as if he genuinely wanted to be with me, as if we were both at home in Chapter Two.

XOXO

Lesson: I had a taste for some Coffee this week.

Question: What’s your favorite Adam Sandler movie?

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Chapter 2

Reflections from August

1. Mason came to my infusion appointment for the first time.

2. Free burgers from Slutty Vegan w/ Mason. Tasty.

3. I love Oreo. I’m officially a dog Auntie.

4. My neighbor taught my BFF a cool way to squirt pool water.

5. Mason taught me how to skip.

6. My Aunties Mary, Gail, Karen and I sang karaoke and danced around the house. Titanium!

7. Bar Louie meetup w/ Ernest. Time for a hair cut.

8. Got my first tattoo, my Daddy’s birthday.

9. Experienced Rhythm and Bowl at Bowlero on Tuesday nights. Karaoke!

10. Had eggs and rice for breakfast in Louisiana. Delicious.

11. Discovered the neighborhood pool in Gonzales. Relaxation.

12. Edited the program at the daiquiri shop. Bellini.

13. Mason went back to school. Hello, empty nest:)

14. Posted a video of my Mom saying, “What’s that?”

15. My Daddy’s Memorial Service was beautiful. Closure.

16. My tribe showed up and out. Loved.

17. After Memorial karaoke with SuperRay at 24 hr karaoke bar. Fun.

18. Face to face counseling session w/ Hope. Release.

19. Coffee held me. Ahh.

20. Spent quality time with BFF. Understanding.

21. Mom gave words of affirmation several times. Love language.

22. Reconnected with Lalle Berry.

23. Gooden sent beautiful flowers.

24. Portable hookah from Amazon. Third time is the charm.

XOXO

Lesson: August had lots of highlights.

Question: Have you completed a monthly reset?

Monthly Reset Instructions:

Start by reflecting over the previous month. What were your highlights? Then set goals and intentions for the new month. What would you like to accomplish? How will you develop your mind? How are you going to challenge yourself this month?

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About Me, Chapter 2, Daddy

Thirteen.

I won’t move on until my Daddy’s memorial service.

I had a hearty cry in the Waffle House parking lot. My Daddy and I (plus Mason) loved to go to the Waffle House. Two pork chops. Eggs scrambled softly. Grits swimming in butter. Warm syrup. Chocolate chip waffle.

Grits and eggs were devoured before photo.

I poured one (orange juice) out for my dead homey while playing to Its So Hard To Say Goodbye from Cooley High Soundtrack.

Simply Orange

I spent an entire day in bed. Only getting up to occasionally use the restroom.

I’m ready to move on.

I need to celebrate my Daddy’s life before I can unapologetically live mine . . . again.

XOXO

Lesson: My Daddy transitioned Sunday, August 13. His memorial services are Saturday, August 26. Thirteen days in limbo.

Question: What comes after limbo?

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About Me, Chapter 2

Allen Iverson

Have you heard of AI? Not Allen Iverson. Artificial intelligence. ChatGPT is AI. Lately, I’ve been writing a lot of professional emails and I use ChatGPT on a daily basis. It’s become somewhat of a foundation. A rough draft, you know.

So today I asked ChatGPT to write an essay for me. I typed, “write an essay to be read at my Daddy’s funeral.”

Want to know how ChatGPT responded? It sent condolences. Seriously ChatGPT sent me condolences on the passing of my father. It wrote “I’m really sorry to hear about your loss.”

I received condolences from ChatGPT today.

XOXO

Lesson: AI has a heart:)

Question: How do you use Artificial Intelligence (AI)?

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About Me, Chapter 2, Where to?

Leo’s Roller Rink

I walked into the room. I didn’t know what to expect. My Daddy was laying in a hospital bed. His eyes opened with a slight smile. He was happy to have a visitor but unsure of who I was. He blinked a bit. He focused. Then he quickly arose beaming with pure joy. I knew the moment he recognized his visitor. “Badness!” My Daddy consistently made me feel like I was the most important person in his world.

I remember going to Leo’s Roller Rink on Saturday mornings.

Just me and my Daddy. I’ve always been a devoted Daddy’s girl. Saturday skating sessions would always close with a race. One lap around the rink with your age group. I was fast (in elementary school). I often won the free small cold drink. After each win I would sashay towards my Daddy. Biggest smile my face could hold. He would clap so loudly. I remember the commanding clap coming from his soul as if I won gold in the junior Olympics.

My Daddy is … was … my biggest fan.

XOXO

Lesson: In Loving Memory. Dean Renea Clark. June 6, 1948- August 13, 2023.

Question: Who does a Daddy’s girl become in Chapter Two?

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About Me, Chapter 2, Mental Health

Sadness

Sadness

Have you ever seen the movie Inside Out? It’s a Pixar cartoon that I connect with …inside out.

The main character is a happy 11-year-old whose world turns upside-down when she and her parents move to San Francisco. Riley’s emotions try to guide her through this difficult, life-changing event. However, the stress of the move brings Sadness to the forefront.

Let me introduce you to Sadness. In a moment of extreme despair, Sadness kicks her leg up letting Joy know that if she wanted Sadness to move then Joy had to drag Sadness to the destination.

I know Sadness. I know her very well. She’s been with me these last few days. Lying on the floor with her leg kicked up demanding Joy to show up in a big way.

XOXO

Lesson: Leg in the air.

Question: When’s the last time you experienced Joy?

#ddcandthecity

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Career, Chapter 2, Mental Health

Rejection

I didn’t get the job. After three interviews and a drive to New Orleans, I received an email stating, “I’m sorry that this one didn’t work out – it was a really tough decision but we enjoyed speaking with you and appreciate all the time you took to meet with us.”

I appreciate the semi-personalized rejection email over a generic computer generated email. However, what I really would have appreciated is a detailed explanation of why they decided not to move forward. Did I not have enough experience? Were my salary expectations out of range? Did the HR Director notice my disturbed facial expression when she said she believes HR should be 100% onsite? I’ll never know the true reason. Organizations are terrified of litigation they rarely give the real reason you didn’t get the offer.

Rejection, whether it is from a potential career opportunity or from the cute guy across the bar at brunch . . . hurts.

To be honest, I did not want that job. Needed? Yes! Insurance isn’t free. Wanted? No!! It was in recruiting and the job posting emphasized, must love recruiting. I do not love recruiting. I tolerate recruiting for the greater good. Insurance! I do not love being 100% onsite. I do not love certain aspects of the role including the need to actively source and pipeline passive candidates.

Hmmm. Maybe the role wasn’t for me. Maybe God told them to pick somebody else to do it. . . Maybe rejection was for my good.

XOXO

Lesson: I am down … but I am not out.

Question: How do you handle rejection?

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Chapter 2, Mason

An Inauguration

Proud parent moment. Mason Riley has officially joined the workforce!

Mason started begging for a job in his junior year of high school. I was adamantly opposed to him working. I said, “you have the rest of your life to have a job.” I understood his desire for his own money, but I also knew I would make sure he had everything he needed. Mason doesn’t ask for much. He chooses to go without rather than asking me. I believe he’s afraid to be a burden even though I reassure him that is what parents are for.

Now, he is six months away from being 21 years old. It’s the summer before his junior year of college. He’s a man. A man needs to feel the ability to provide. I believe it’s time.

He’s been applying for part time jobs since May and finally landed his role at the neighborhood movie theater. A walkable commute for his first gig. He loves movies. I mean REALLY loves movies. Working at the theater is a dream come true for him. Free movies. The fact that it’s a walkable distance from the apartment is a dream come true for me.

XOXO

Lesson: My baby boy is officially a man.

Question: What was your first job?

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