Category Archives: Chapter 2

Career, Chapter 2, Personal Finances, Where to?

The Jedi and Me

I’ve been a bartender at a local daiquiri shop for about a month. I started with zero professional experience as a bartender, and aside from making a Tequila Sunrise, I am unfamiliar with cocktail recipes and techniques. I initially applied to the daiquiri shop thinking my job would mainly involve pulling levers to dispense daiquiris. I was surprised to find out there’s a full bar, and my duties include preparing mixed drinks. Fortunately, they hired me despite my lack of experience and assured me that I could learn on the job.

My initial training shift was with E. An 18 year old on her last week at the daiquiri shop before going to school. I arrived before she did. That should have been my first clue to lower my expectations of training or at least of my trainer. Thankfully, since then, E has had her final shift and I have my fingers crossed that I never have to work with or see her ever again. 

I worked my first night out of training with K, also known as, the Jedi. She was the only Black employee until I started, and we connected instantly. In her mid-20s, she has a no-nonsense quality about her. Her training was thorough, teaching me the right way to do things, not just enough to avoid trouble, which was a stark contrast to my earlier training from E. The Jedi also gave me the lowdown on my new colleagues, including who is related to whom. Additionally, she advised me about the patrons of the daiquiri shop, warning me that the regulars are chatty and to be cautious about who I entertain.

The Jedi is moving this week and will no longer be at the daiquiri shop. Her parting words to me were a reminder: this daiquiri shop is my job, and I should keep my personal life separate. She emphasized coming to work to make money, not friends. Her words reminded me of my Daddy, who would share the same sentiments with me whenever I started a new job in the past. I needed that reminder from the Jedi.

Despite the unexpected challenges and steep learning curve, my experience at the daiquiri shop has been rewarding. Tips!!!! 

Thanks to the valuable training and advice from the Jedi I am adapting slowly but surely to being a bartender. Her guidance has not only equipped me with the skills to handle my duties but also offered me crucial life lessons. 

Lesson: I am a working woman. 

Question: What’s your drink of choice? 

Note: I have two part time jobs now. First came the bartender and I started as a barista at a coffee shop a couple weeks ago. More to come about the life of a barista. 

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Chapter 2, Mental Health, Where to?

Adjusting

I’ve been in Louisiana for 70 days now, and I’m just about settled into my space. I have one moving box left to unpack—shoes. It’s amazing how many shoes I have, considering I wear the same pink flip-flops on a regular basis.

I know to clean the guest bathroom every Friday and take the trash out on Tuesday evenings.

I’ve got a couple of churches on my radar and have selected a local Toastmasters club to join.

I know of two taco spots with great deals. Mi Padres has a Taco Tuesday special: three tacos and a margarita for $15.

I started working as a bartender at a daiquiri shop three miles away and had an interview with PJ’s Coffee today, which went well.

Mom and I have developed a good rhythm. I enjoy quality time with my mom and Mason. We saw Inside Out 2 together. Great movie. I’ve made a few connections with old friends.

I was introduced to a very nice cigar bar in town. Good vibes. Great music. Perhaps I enjoyed the venue more because of who I was with than because of the venue itself. Perhaps.

How long does it take to start over? I am starting over in my forties. I have the opportunity to choose my identity. I am trying to figure it out as I go.

Lesson: It is starting to feel like home.

Question: Daiquiris or coffee?

DDC

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Career, Chapter 2, Mental Health, Where to?

Future State of the Union

July 1 – September 29

Spiritual

◦ Find a Louisiana church home.

◦ Become an active member of church. Attend Bible study. Ministry participation.

◦ Watch at least one online sermon 2x weekly.

Relationships

◦ Active daughter, sister, mother, friend, niece and cousin.

Wellness

◦ 21 Day Fix.

◦ 80/20 eating plan. 80% paleo. 20% Wtf.

◦ Current weight 246 lbs. Goal is to weigh less.

◦ Stop eating at 9p nightly.

Personal Growth

◦ Complete HubSpot free Digital Marketing Courses.

◦ Active participation in WBC Toastmasters.

◦ Morning/ evening routines daily.

◦ Listen to “No Excuses” and take notes.

Creativity

◦ Post to DDCandthecity weekly. Thursdays at 10a.

◦ Post YouTube weekly reviews on Wednesdays at 8p.

◦ Research cucumber and tomato container gardening.

Home

◦ Purged and organized bathroom, closet, and bookcase.

◦ Stick to bathroom cleaning routine. Friday mornings.

Career

◦ Get hired.

◦ Complete Google Project Management Certification.

Finances

◦ Save a starter emergency fund.

◦ Earn $$ daily w/ Lyft.

Someday, Maybe

◦ Certified Associate Project Management study prep

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Chapter 2, Mental Health, Where to?

Settled

It has been a little over a month in my new to me home. I am officially all moved into my new bedroom. I now inhabit the room that has been historically called my Mom’s “sewing room” my entire life. My parents moved to this home after I had been in Dallas for a few years. Until a month ago, I had not spent longer than two consecutive weeks in Louisiana in the last 19 years. Needless to say, I never felt at home in my parent’s house. I was a visitor. 

There are four bedrooms in my parent’s house and I always chose to sleep on the couch. My parent’s occupied the owner’s suite. My Mom had her sewing room to create magic. My Daddy had his version of a man cave called “The Chamber” which he shared with Mason over the summers. The last bedroom was called the “Black” room because of the elaborate black bedding, black headboard my mom refurbished, and black ornate curtains on the windows. My sister has spent time living in this home. She slept in the “Black” room for several years. She had positive affirmations posted on the walls. It has always been my sister’s room in my mind. Therefore, I slept on the sofa (whether Nicole was here or not.)

Now, I am extremely grateful to say that I officially have my own room. My Mom has moved her sewing things to her bedroom. I’ve got my black and white decor with a pop of hot pink. White dresser, white nightstand and white bookshelf. Black queen headboard and black bedding. A black and white striped plant stand with pivotal books placed on top for decor. Becoming, A Belle in Brooklyn, and a NIV Journal the Word Bible. There’s a piece of me in every room of the house now and a few 27 gallon storage containers in the garage. There’s a black painted accent wall. Limousine Leather by Behr. Semi gloss. The cherry on top is the perfection that is Dandelion, my oversized mirror, exists perfectly as the first magnificent image you see when you enter my very own room. It all screams DDC! 

I officially have a space to call my own. 

DDC

Lesson: I am incredibly grateful for having a room to call my own. This experience has taught me the value of having a personal sanctuary, a place where I can relax, reflect, and recharge.

Question: What possession do you own that whenever you see it, then you immediately feel at home?

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About Me, Career, Chapter 2, Mental Health, Personal Finances

Feeling Low

I’m feeling low. I haven’t had an income since March. I’m literally living off the grace of God and my Mom.

I’ve had a few interviews. The interview process is completely draining. I am drained. Mentally drained. Physically drained. In the interviews, I turn my personality all the way on. I am engaging. I take notes. I’m knowledgeable about the organization. I’ve made notes about the interviewer from their LinkedIn profiles. I show my interest in the role without the true desperation I actually feel. When I really just want to say, “pick me, choose me, hire me. Please, just give me a chance!”

I want to push through. I’m trying to push through. It’s a daily struggle. Trying to be hopeful. Trying not to drown in my tears. All the while I really just want to give up. I want to curl up in the bed. Comfy pajamas. Covers over my head. Schitts Creek playing in the laptop. Crumpled up used tear stained tissues all around.

DDC

Lesson: Sadness has moved in.

Question: What do I do now?

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Chapter 2, Mental Health

Me, Myself, and I

I don’t want to give you the wrong impression, I need love and affection. Future said it. I feel it. My ideal situation would be living together. Constant daily interactions.

I need more. More quality time. More words of affirmation. I am a person who craves attention.

If I did what I plan to do when I actually plan to do it then would I still feel lonely?

I am learning more and more day to day that no one is going to give me the kind of attention that I crave…. other than myself.

DDC

Lesson: I need people.

Question: Am I wanting too much?

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Chapter 2, Multiple Sclerosis, Therapy

Quality of Life

So, here’s the deal: I’m basically the leaking champion, gotta change my Depends at least 3 times a day. My bladder is a drama queen. I rock two Depends incontinence underwear simultaneously just to keep up with my bladder’s antics. Tried meds, even had Botox parties in my bladder—didn’t last longer than a Snapchat streak!

Next they’re talking Axonics Therapy, where they zap your nerves with a mini-implant. Sounds like a sci-fi plot twist, right? But it’s gonna cost me $3,000. I’m over here counting pennies, wondering if this fancy Axonics Therapy will actually work or leave me broke and still running to the bathroom!

I have multiple sclerosis. Diagnosed August 2021. Symptoms have been present for 20+ years. An invisible illness. I do not use a wheelchair or cane, therefore my illness is invisible… Unless you notice my struggle with balance. But even then one may simply assume I’m tipsy.

I suffer from urinary incontinence. The loss of bladder control. The severity ranges from occasionally leaking urine when I cough or sneeze to having an urge to urinate that’s so sudden and strong that I cannot get to a toilet in time.

My neurologist asked about the latest statistics on my bladder issues in my last appointment. Saying out loud that I leak 3-5 times a day felt like a punch. My doctor called it a “quality of life” issue. I’m so used to leaking that it has become a part of my identity. This isn’t normal. I don’t want it to be my normal. I have got to find $3,000.

DDC

Lesson: My MS is not invisible to me.

Question: What’s affecting your quality of life?

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Chapter 2, Humor, Mental Health

Animated Life Lessons

The theme of today is “Keep moving forward.”

Three words. Simple. Powerful. Inspiring.

Keep moving forward is the theme from the animated movie Meet The Robinsons. Have you seen it? It’s the story of an orphan, Lewis, finding his family.

There’s a scene in the movie when Lewis, a 12 year old aspiring inventor gathered his family at the dinner table to demonstrate his latest invention. A peanut butter and jelly dispenser gun. Everyone is standing around the table waiting to experience a peanut butter and jelly presentation that would end with tasty treats. Lewis tinkers with his invention for a bit. Turns his gadget on. It starts jerking and you know something is off. Then the entire family is splashed with peanut butter and jelly.

Lewis starts apologizing profusely. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. He was heartbroken. Lowering his head in disappointment.

The uncle gasps and then yells excitedly, “you failed” with a huge grin on his face. It was exceptional says his brother. “It was outstanding” says his cousin.

From failure, you learn. From success? Not so much.

Keep moving forward.

Life has been life-ing. For everyone lately. Global warming. Political polarization. Mental health issues. Healthcare access. Police brutality. Income inequalities. Inflation.

I remember walking to the McDonald’s with my next door neighbor as a teenager. Her parents had a huge vase of coins. We all were able to grab the $3.23 for our combos.

Now, a Big Mac Meal from McDonald’s is creeping too close to ten dollars. Inflation is everywhere.

This list goes. . .

Keep moving forward.

DDC

Lesson: Keep moving forward.

Question: What’s your go-to method for bouncing back from a bad day?

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About Me, Chapter 2, Mental Health

Reset

I absolutely love a reset. Yearly reset. Monthly reset. Weekly reset. Daily reset. A reset is a chance to start over. A reset is the opportunity of a new beginning. 

“In the canvas of life, a new beginning is the brushstroke that paints the beauty of possibility. It’s not just a chance to start over; it’s an opportunity to craft a masterpiece, a chance to get it right, and an embrace of the endless potential that unfolds with every fresh start.”

I love to watch YouTube videos of people conducting their own resets. My favorite YouTuber MuchelleB is famous (to me) for the reset. She walks us through her resets with her Australian accent and I am always engrossed. So intrigued that I have rewatched her videos from 3-4 years ago with patience. It’s amusing to watch her older resets as she is using platforms that I am unfamiliar with. Have you ever heard of Things 3? 

Every new year I make a list of lofty goals in several areas of my life that I dream to achieve during the year. I would spend weeks creating elaborate vision boards of my dreams for a successful year. Then I would not refer to that vision board until the next year to create the new vision. 

This year is different. Totally different. In my Tamar Braxton voice. This year I am reviewing my annual goals on a weekly basis. Making plans for that week to progress towards the vision. 

“A goal without a plan is just a wish, a dream waiting for the blueprint of action to bring it to life.”

How did I plan to achieve the beautiful elaborate vision board without a plan? Hence, the weekly reset. On a weekly basis I review the goals for the year and plan what needs to happen that week in order to achieve the bigger picture. This year I am using the tools I have learned from watching countless YouTube videos on how to achieve the desires of my heart. 

DDC

Lesson: A reset is a weekly must. 

Question: How do you prepare for a new week? A new month? A new year? 

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