Category Archives: About Me

About Me, Career, Chapter 2, Daddy, Mental Health

No Call No Show

Later tonight, I am hosting the debut karaoke night at Lena’s Ontechnology for a college friend. In my low mood, all I wanted to do was… well, absolutely nothing. I didn’t feel like doing a single thing. My usual spark was missing in action. How in the hell am I going to be able to put my game face on enough to host a karaoke night when I do not want to get out of bed? I woke up in a low mood. Last night, I decided that I would wake up at 7 a.m. Unfortunately, I did not tell the alarm clock. I naturally woke up after 8 a.m. to disappointment. I wanted to lay in bed longer than a sloth on a weekend. But then, thankfully, I remembered I had a phone interview for a project management position at 10 a.m. I needed to do my usual interview preparation. I needed to research the company, review the interviewer’s LinkedIn profile, and prepare some thought provoking questions.

So, I played my interview anthem to get in gear. Rick Ross blared over the HomePod loud and clear, “Everyday I’m hustlin’. Everyday I’m, everyday I’m, everyday I’m hustlin’. Everyday I’m hustlin’.” Okay. It’s go time!! I pulled up my resume, the job description, and LinkedIn and waited patiently. And you won’t believe it, the interviewer was a no call, no show to the phone interview that I was so excited about. After waiting for 15+ minutes, I realized that she wasn’t going to call. I did my due diligence and sent an email requesting a reschedule, and then at that moment, a heavy cloud came over my spirit. I wanted to get back in bed and stay there… indefinitely. So, I sent out the SOS text to my tribe (I needed encouragement) and then called my Mama and cried. I had a really good cry. My Mom reminded me that I’ve conquered this unemployment demon before and I WILL do it again. Instead of getting in the bed and deep under the covers, I made the decision to fight the low mood. Besides, I have to be fabulous tonight. I had a list of things to cross off my to-do list. Hair. Outfit. Makeup. Plus I needed to send out a few reminders about tonight’s festivities.

I stopped by Walgreens on the way home and picked up some prints of my family. My sister had the idea to get a picture of Daddy printed for her place. I picked out my favorite picture of Daddy. He had the biggest smile. The kind of smile where your eyes squint. I bought him a Michael Kors shirt for Christmas one year. His first designer article of clothing. His excitement shines through the photo. It was my Mom’s idea to keep the original price on the shirt. I never told him that I got it from Nordstrom’s Rack for half the ticketed price. I also printed a photo of my sister, Nicole, my Mom, and I from the New Orleans City Park from 2022. I’d arranged for my cousin to take our pictures as a surprise for my Mom. The third picture was of my BFF and I from my 40th birthday in 2021. I am in rare form in that picture. My BFF is looking beautiful, poised, and reserved as usual next to my gangster chic. Printing pictures is such a lost art. My stomach began to growl a bit. Walgreens is in the same parking lot as El Fenix. Chips and salsa, please! I treated myself to the chocolate caramel sopapilla and a tequila sunrise. I sent out a few reminders about tonight.

My neighbor came over, and we had girl chat while I finished putting on my makeup. She instructed me to put a gold shimmer in my tear duct. A tip that was the perfect addition to my nighttime look. We proceeded to drink a few shots of tequila. Well, she had shots, and I had coconut flavored tequila with water as my mixer. I arrived at Lena’s Ontechnology, and I saw my BFF already in the parking lot. She’s not known for being early for events. Her presence gave me a sense of calmness and familiarity that I needed tonight. I walked in, and there were already three more friends sitting on the barstools with huge smiles and comforting words. I felt so loved.

Yes! Let’s get this party started!!! 🎤🎶

Lesson: I do experience low vibrations from time to time. Job searching is emotionally draining. I need people. I’m energized by being around people.

Question: What energizes you? 

XOXO

-DDC

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About Me, Daddy, Mental Health, Therapy

Choose Happiness

I love my Daddy.

My Daddy played the role of mediator between my mother and me. He always knew the perfect words at the perfect moment.

One Thanksgiving, my mom and Daddy came to Texas. Loaded up the car with all the ingredients needed to make gumbo. My Mom and I decided that was the year I would finally learn how to cook her gumbo.

Well. My Mom’s teaching style didn’t quite match with my learning style. I typically cooked from recipes with precise measurements. Hello Fresh comes with pictures, you know. On the other hand, my Mom is skilled at eyeball method of measurement. Simply put. This led to a lot of frustration between my Mom and I. The tension was real real thick. my Daddy sensed it being his time to step in. He pleaded, “Come on now, y’all!” Lol. Since then I have developed my own way of cooking gumbo. It’s passable. Of course it doesn’t compare to my mom’s.

To my Mama, I love you! I love you just the way you are. You embody the qualities of a Proverbs 31 woman. Just like her, you diligently take care of your responsibilities and prioritize them .. often placing them ahead of your own desires.

Mama, you have every right to prioritize your own well-being. I implore you to prioritize your own happiness. Each day, I hope you wake up and choose happiness despite the challenges. I recognize how tough it can be—it’s a going to be a difficult journey. But remember, YOU can do hard things. The key lies in your choices.

So, choose happiness.

XOXO

Lesson: Happiness is a choice.

Question: How are you prioritizing your happiness today?

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About Me, Chapter 2, Daddy

Thirteen.

I won’t move on until my Daddy’s memorial service.

I had a hearty cry in the Waffle House parking lot. My Daddy and I (plus Mason) loved to go to the Waffle House. Two pork chops. Eggs scrambled softly. Grits swimming in butter. Warm syrup. Chocolate chip waffle.

Grits and eggs were devoured before photo.

I poured one (orange juice) out for my dead homey while playing to Its So Hard To Say Goodbye from Cooley High Soundtrack.

Simply Orange

I spent an entire day in bed. Only getting up to occasionally use the restroom.

I’m ready to move on.

I need to celebrate my Daddy’s life before I can unapologetically live mine . . . again.

XOXO

Lesson: My Daddy transitioned Sunday, August 13. His memorial services are Saturday, August 26. Thirteen days in limbo.

Question: What comes after limbo?

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About Me, Chapter 2

Allen Iverson

Have you heard of AI? Not Allen Iverson. Artificial intelligence. ChatGPT is AI. Lately, I’ve been writing a lot of professional emails and I use ChatGPT on a daily basis. It’s become somewhat of a foundation. A rough draft, you know.

So today I asked ChatGPT to write an essay for me. I typed, “write an essay to be read at my Daddy’s funeral.”

Want to know how ChatGPT responded? It sent condolences. Seriously ChatGPT sent me condolences on the passing of my father. It wrote “I’m really sorry to hear about your loss.”

I received condolences from ChatGPT today.

XOXO

Lesson: AI has a heart:)

Question: How do you use Artificial Intelligence (AI)?

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About Me, Chapter 2, Where to?

Leo’s Roller Rink

I walked into the room. I didn’t know what to expect. My Daddy was laying in a hospital bed. His eyes opened with a slight smile. He was happy to have a visitor but unsure of who I was. He blinked a bit. He focused. Then he quickly arose beaming with pure joy. I knew the moment he recognized his visitor. “Badness!” My Daddy consistently made me feel like I was the most important person in his world.

I remember going to Leo’s Roller Rink on Saturday mornings.

Just me and my Daddy. I’ve always been a devoted Daddy’s girl. Saturday skating sessions would always close with a race. One lap around the rink with your age group. I was fast (in elementary school). I often won the free small cold drink. After each win I would sashay towards my Daddy. Biggest smile my face could hold. He would clap so loudly. I remember the commanding clap coming from his soul as if I won gold in the junior Olympics.

My Daddy is … was … my biggest fan.

XOXO

Lesson: In Loving Memory. Dean Renea Clark. June 6, 1948- August 13, 2023.

Question: Who does a Daddy’s girl become in Chapter Two?

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About Me, Chapter 2, Mental Health

Sadness

Sadness

Have you ever seen the movie Inside Out? It’s a Pixar cartoon that I connect with …inside out.

The main character is a happy 11-year-old whose world turns upside-down when she and her parents move to San Francisco. Riley’s emotions try to guide her through this difficult, life-changing event. However, the stress of the move brings Sadness to the forefront.

Let me introduce you to Sadness. In a moment of extreme despair, Sadness kicks her leg up letting Joy know that if she wanted Sadness to move then Joy had to drag Sadness to the destination.

I know Sadness. I know her very well. She’s been with me these last few days. Lying on the floor with her leg kicked up demanding Joy to show up in a big way.

XOXO

Lesson: Leg in the air.

Question: When’s the last time you experienced Joy?

#ddcandthecity

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About Me, Chapter 2

The Prototype.

I daughtered on Saturday. I drove my Mom to complete her normal weekend errands. It was quite an adventure. We stopped at 4 different grocery stores. Each with a different list of items because you cannot get meat from just any store according to my Mom. I, on the other hand, typically buy all my groceries from one place. Target. I love the ability to get grapes, a cute journal and light bulbs all from one stop. Note: I prefer to shop online then open my front door and my groceries to be perfectly positioned at my doormat waiting to be put away. 

Stock image that understood the assignment.

The second to last stop had trouble with the air conditioning. It was 90 degrees in Louisiana on Saturday afternoon. I started to feel overheated. My Mom said the same. I headed to the checkout looking for an ice cold water to hydrate. I checked all the lines and all refrigerators containing cold drinks. The choices were Fanta, Red Bull, Gatorade and Coke. Not one cold bottle of water was available in the store. Surprised by the lack of water but also not surprised at the same time. I settled with Gatorade. 

Well, hello there.

Once my Mom got in the car I selected parent’s home as the destination. However, I was then told we had to get gas before going home. I was a bit confused. Seeing that we had ¾ of a tank, more than enough gas needed to get home. Why do we have to get gas now in 90 degree weather when we are BOTH exhausted? My Mom prefers to get gas from Sam’s Club. It is less expensive. We were already close to Sam’s which is twenty minutes away from my parent’s home. I headed to Sam’s Club on Siegen Lane.

Just Keep Swimming.

Even though my Mom had declared that she was hot and tired, she was able to keep going anyway. Just keep swimming. One of the most significant moments from the animated movie Finding Nemo was Dory telling her new friend Nemo to just keep swimming. The idea of just keep swimming gives us the hope we need to achieve the goal, to finish strong, and to persevere through the hard times. My Mom is a real life illustration of “Just keep swimming.” She has trials and tribulations in her life, yet she doesn’t give up. She just keeps swimming. I am incredibly thankful for the lessons that I have learned by simply being in her presence.

Happy Mother’s Day.

XOXO

Lesson: Prototype. Noun. The original or model on which something is based or formed. 

Question: What lessons have you learned by watching the actions of your Mother?

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About Me, Love Life, Mental Health

California King Bed

There was a time when I would spend entire weekends in the bed. Of course, I would get up to use the restroom and get something to eat. I would just get back into bed. I would rarely answer the phone. I would occasionally respond to text. I set the thermostat on the coldest temperature, restarted Grace and Frankie from season 1 episode 1 over and over and then get comfortable in bed ready to sleep the day away.

It did not dawn on me that my sleeping was a faint cry for help. If I did not have any obligations to go anywhere, then I would be in the bed. Was I depressed? The thought often crossed my mind. But if I was depressed then why wasn’t I also in bed during the week I wondered? I convinced myself that it wasn’t depression.

In hindsight, I believe it was a case of high functioning depression. My last relationship had ended. . . very badly. I thought he was my future Mr. I was entirely wrong about him and his intentions. I was sad and extremely lonely. The break up felt like a punch in the gut. Ouch! I didn’t want to show up for myself on the weekends. There was no cleaning routine. My place consistently looked like Hurricane DDC had ransacked everything. There was no desire to workout. There wasn’t a relationship with the Lord. I was grieving. I didn’t know it then, but I can clearly identify it now.

This was several years ago now. I was up this morning pulling the sheets off of my bed getting ready to wash (Wednesday is the day to clean my bedroom) and the thought crossed my mind of how I used to spend entire weekends in this bed. Thankfully, I am pass that phase of life. I function. I clean. I pray. I meditate. Occasionally I work out too. I do not want to go back to that place. I will not go back.

XOXO

Lesson: You never know the battles that people are fighting daily.

Question: Do you notice when the life of the party stops living?

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About Me, Chapter 2

Wants

I want to be an 180 pound (or less) financially secure active Christian women with a stable career that inspires good vibes and is stress free. I want to have a clean organized home of essentials only. I want to set daily priorities and cross them off the list by the end of each day. I want to have an active prayer life where I spend quality time in conversation with the Lord. I want to be an avid reader. I want to feel complete even in times when I am physically alone. I want to be in a steady committed relationship that is full of laughter but there is still room for tears together when it is warranted. I want to live a healthy life where I experiment with new vegetarian recipes sporadically but still includes Peanut Butter Snickers Pie from City Works every once in a while. I want to crave physical activity. I will start my day with a 30 minute workout Monday through Friday. I want to complete a Lovely Bodies 90 minute workout on Saturday mornings at least once a month. I want to talk to my counselor, Hope, on a monthly basis, I want to talk to my behavioral therapist, Tara, on a weekly basis, and I am going to add a trauma therapist in on a biweekly basis. I want to live by a daily cleaning routine. Bathrooms are on Mondays. Sundays are to reset for the week.

I have a lot of wants. Wait, are there a lot? Hmmm. They aren’t too much to want. I could want a million dollars too. Well, I do want a million dollars too. What I am trying to say is that I want a lot of things but I do not want too much. All of these things are completely doable. Consistently doable.

I have some very doable wants. I can do all that I want to do, but why don’t I?

XOXO

Lesson: Wants without actions are meaningless.

Question: What am I prepared to do on a daily basis to achieve the life that I want?

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About Me, Chapter 2, Love Life, Mental Health

A New Subscriber

I met a guy on Coffee Meets Bagel a couple of weeks ago. I am doing something different to get something different. I started the chat by making my goals for online dating very clear and asked what did he desire. I no longer want to waste my time pursuing f*ck boys. Therefore, I need to know that a guy has some serious intentions with dating from the very beginning. Let’s call this one Coffee.

CMB

It has been a great two weeks. It is as if seeds are being planted. He plants the seeds and he waters them daily. We initially matched on February 13th. I started the chat. He responds in complete sentences (not just “k” or “that’s great” when I sent an essay). He doesn’t use text speak (i.e. wyd?) and I appreciate that. Reading complete sentences on dating apps is a huge turn on for me. Our first phone conversation was three hours. We talked about anything and everything. I felt like Alicia Keys singing, “Teenage Love Affair.” Coffee has an amazing sense of humor and he laughs at my jokes. He’s intelligent. He likes to go outside. He initiates outings. We have future plans to attend a wine festival after I get settled in my new place.

Spending time with him feels comfortable. We have easy conversation. I am able to be my natural weird self without judgement. I love that he laughs at my humor. Coffee is an introvert. Very different than my extrovert ways. He’s more reserved opposed to my outgoing, open and free spirit. He’s slim and I am thick. He only wants to sit in the front row at a concert while I do not mind touching the ceiling of the venue. They say opposites attract.

Since I started this blog I wondered how I would feel when a dating prospect read my words. Especially if I wanted to write about them! I mentioned my blog daily to Time Warner. I hoped at some point he would ask to see it. He never did. I want my mate to be an avid reader of my blog. He could give his honest opinions in response to the questions posed. I want him to quote a my words the way Dre quoted Sidney in Brown Sugar, “simplicity provides a fine line between elegance and plainness.”

Coffee read my blog today.

XOXO

Lesson: I like my Coffee, tall bright and handsome.

Question: How should a love interest demonstrate their interest for you to receive it?

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