Tag Archives: Daddy

Chapter 2, Daddy, Love Life

A Bey Sting

I was deeply moved by some Instagram posts this morning. It wasn’t envy that got to me, despite seeing all the lucky people who attended the Beyoncé concert with a surprise appearance from Meg Thee Stallion in Houston this weekend.

Instead, it brought up complex emotions, making me contemplate taking a break from social media while Beyoncé was in Texas. I was apprehensive about witnessing local folks having the time of their lives while I was at home. Surprisingly, I found myself unaffected by those posts. In fact, I enjoyed seeing everyone’s concert outfits more than watching clips from the show. 

What did sting, though, was discovering that my close friends were going to the concert, especially since no one had considered asking if I was remotely interested in going. I managed to bounce back from that as well.

Today, I came across two consecutive Instagram posts featuring famous daughters expressing gratitude for their fathers being there for them during emotional times in their lives. First, there was Sarah Jakes Roberts, whom I’m becoming a big fan of after listening to her podcasts. She shared a touching photo of her dad kissing her head before her Women Evolve Conference, capturing a moment of nerves. 

Then, it was Tia Mowry who posted a heartfelt tribute to her father, describing him as her protector and attaching several photos of cherished moments with him. Reading her caption brought tears to my eyes.

One of the many notable lines my Daddy used to say to me was, “I’m going to dance at your wedding.” Whenever I did something that made him happy or proud, he’d say it. Since he was proud or happy about almost everything I did, he said it quite often. I have numerous fond memories associated with him and this phrase. I recall growing up on Nashville Ave, where Pepsi was my Daddy’s water when he still consumed caffeine. He’d ask me to bring him a Pepsi and would express his gratitude by offering to dance at my wedding with a huge grin.

The idea of having a wedding without my Daddy feels unimaginable. If he can’t walk me down the aisle, then I don’t want to walk down the aisle at all. So, I’ve made the decision to have a courthouse marriage. No aisles. No walks. No dancing. 

XOXO

-DDC

Lesson: A wedding isn’t in my near future. Hinge has been fun. I have had a few interesting meet and greets. One official date. No marriage proposals. 

Question: What is your favorite song on Beyonce’s latest album, Renaissance?

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Chapter 2, Daddy, Love Life

A Taste of Coffee

Coffee reached out after my Daddy’s memorial expressing his concern and offering his support. He has always been a thoughtful man. When he said, “if there’s anything that I can do to help support you, then let me know,” I’ve been offered support in the past, but I never know what I needed. I immediately knew what I needed when Coffee offered.

That night, I longed for friendly banter, companionship, and the comfort of being held. It reminded me of a line from “Waiting to Exhale” where Angela Bassett’s character, separated from her husband, admits, “I’m not like you, Gloria. I need to be held, even if it is a damn lie.” But what if it wasn’t a lie?

I eagerly awaited Coffee’s arrival, glancing through the peephole after he called from the parking lot. When he stood at my door, I sensed him collecting himself, preparing to interact with me, his ex. Encounters like these can be unpredictable. Our last phone conversation wasn’t pleasant, though not heated, just uncomfortable. Endings often carry that weight, but it wasn’t what I desired for us.

Coffee looked great, wearing a crisp white short-sleeve button-up and khaki cargo shorts, exuding a casual and classic vibe. We engaged in casual banter, catching up like old friends. He noticed that I had rearranged my furniture, making my apartment appear larger—a realization of the cute studio apartment I had always dreamed of. Chapter Two.

Have you ever experienced the realization you are living at least one of your dreams?

Coffee and I lay on top of the comforter, watching “Funny People” on Netflix. I chose the movie, as I adore Adam Sandler, and Seth Rogen’s humor always brings me joy. I needed a good laugh.

That night, Coffee held me close, and I reveled in being the little spoon. It felt incredibly comforting and pleasurable, as if the past had evaporated. It was as if he hadn’t ghosted me, as if he genuinely wanted to be with me, as if we were both at home in Chapter Two.

XOXO

Lesson: I had a taste for some Coffee this week.

Question: What’s your favorite Adam Sandler movie?

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Chapter 2

Reflections from August

1. Mason came to my infusion appointment for the first time.

2. Free burgers from Slutty Vegan w/ Mason. Tasty.

3. I love Oreo. I’m officially a dog Auntie.

4. My neighbor taught my BFF a cool way to squirt pool water.

5. Mason taught me how to skip.

6. My Aunties Mary, Gail, Karen and I sang karaoke and danced around the house. Titanium!

7. Bar Louie meetup w/ Ernest. Time for a hair cut.

8. Got my first tattoo, my Daddy’s birthday.

9. Experienced Rhythm and Bowl at Bowlero on Tuesday nights. Karaoke!

10. Had eggs and rice for breakfast in Louisiana. Delicious.

11. Discovered the neighborhood pool in Gonzales. Relaxation.

12. Edited the program at the daiquiri shop. Bellini.

13. Mason went back to school. Hello, empty nest:)

14. Posted a video of my Mom saying, “What’s that?”

15. My Daddy’s Memorial Service was beautiful. Closure.

16. My tribe showed up and out. Loved.

17. After Memorial karaoke with SuperRay at 24 hr karaoke bar. Fun.

18. Face to face counseling session w/ Hope. Release.

19. Coffee held me. Ahh.

20. Spent quality time with BFF. Understanding.

21. Mom gave words of affirmation several times. Love language.

22. Reconnected with Lalle Berry.

23. Gooden sent beautiful flowers.

24. Portable hookah from Amazon. Third time is the charm.

XOXO

Lesson: August had lots of highlights.

Question: Have you completed a monthly reset?

Monthly Reset Instructions:

Start by reflecting over the previous month. What were your highlights? Then set goals and intentions for the new month. What would you like to accomplish? How will you develop your mind? How are you going to challenge yourself this month?

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About Me, Daddy, Mental Health, Therapy

Choose Happiness

I love my Daddy.

My Daddy played the role of mediator between my mother and me. He always knew the perfect words at the perfect moment.

One Thanksgiving, my mom and Daddy came to Texas. Loaded up the car with all the ingredients needed to make gumbo. My Mom and I decided that was the year I would finally learn how to cook her gumbo.

Well. My Mom’s teaching style didn’t quite match with my learning style. I typically cooked from recipes with precise measurements. Hello Fresh comes with pictures, you know. On the other hand, my Mom is skilled at eyeball method of measurement. Simply put. This led to a lot of frustration between my Mom and I. The tension was real real thick. my Daddy sensed it being his time to step in. He pleaded, “Come on now, y’all!” Lol. Since then I have developed my own way of cooking gumbo. It’s passable. Of course it doesn’t compare to my mom’s.

To my Mama, I love you! I love you just the way you are. You embody the qualities of a Proverbs 31 woman. Just like her, you diligently take care of your responsibilities and prioritize them .. often placing them ahead of your own desires.

Mama, you have every right to prioritize your own well-being. I implore you to prioritize your own happiness. Each day, I hope you wake up and choose happiness despite the challenges. I recognize how tough it can be—it’s a going to be a difficult journey. But remember, YOU can do hard things. The key lies in your choices.

So, choose happiness.

XOXO

Lesson: Happiness is a choice.

Question: How are you prioritizing your happiness today?

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About Me, Chapter 2, Daddy

Thirteen.

I won’t move on until my Daddy’s memorial service.

I had a hearty cry in the Waffle House parking lot. My Daddy and I (plus Mason) loved to go to the Waffle House. Two pork chops. Eggs scrambled softly. Grits swimming in butter. Warm syrup. Chocolate chip waffle.

Grits and eggs were devoured before photo.

I poured one (orange juice) out for my dead homey while playing to Its So Hard To Say Goodbye from Cooley High Soundtrack.

Simply Orange

I spent an entire day in bed. Only getting up to occasionally use the restroom.

I’m ready to move on.

I need to celebrate my Daddy’s life before I can unapologetically live mine . . . again.

XOXO

Lesson: My Daddy transitioned Sunday, August 13. His memorial services are Saturday, August 26. Thirteen days in limbo.

Question: What comes after limbo?

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About Me, Chapter 2

Allen Iverson

Have you heard of AI? Not Allen Iverson. Artificial intelligence. ChatGPT is AI. Lately, I’ve been writing a lot of professional emails and I use ChatGPT on a daily basis. It’s become somewhat of a foundation. A rough draft, you know.

So today I asked ChatGPT to write an essay for me. I typed, “write an essay to be read at my Daddy’s funeral.”

Want to know how ChatGPT responded? It sent condolences. Seriously ChatGPT sent me condolences on the passing of my father. It wrote “I’m really sorry to hear about your loss.”

I received condolences from ChatGPT today.

XOXO

Lesson: AI has a heart:)

Question: How do you use Artificial Intelligence (AI)?

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About Me, Chapter 2, Where to?

Leo’s Roller Rink

I walked into the room. I didn’t know what to expect. My Daddy was laying in a hospital bed. His eyes opened with a slight smile. He was happy to have a visitor but unsure of who I was. He blinked a bit. He focused. Then he quickly arose beaming with pure joy. I knew the moment he recognized his visitor. “Badness!” My Daddy consistently made me feel like I was the most important person in his world.

I remember going to Leo’s Roller Rink on Saturday mornings.

Just me and my Daddy. I’ve always been a devoted Daddy’s girl. Saturday skating sessions would always close with a race. One lap around the rink with your age group. I was fast (in elementary school). I often won the free small cold drink. After each win I would sashay towards my Daddy. Biggest smile my face could hold. He would clap so loudly. I remember the commanding clap coming from his soul as if I won gold in the junior Olympics.

My Daddy is … was … my biggest fan.

XOXO

Lesson: In Loving Memory. Dean Renea Clark. June 6, 1948- August 13, 2023.

Question: Who does a Daddy’s girl become in Chapter Two?

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