You should have to a 4 year degree.

You should meet a nice guy.

You should get a stable job.

You should be married.

You should work hard and get promoted to management.

You should buy a single family home in the suburbs and get a dog.

You should have 2 children.

You should be promoted to senior management.

You should put your kids in a bunch of activities and drive a mini van to haul their soccer equipment.

You should sell your starter home and buy something bigger, drive a luxury vehicle, go on fabulous vacations and have your friends over for catered dinner parties.

The “shoulds.”

Where did they come from? I never had a consultation with the leader of the “shoulds” where I was given the rundown. I just know them. I see them lived out. I attend the celebrations, like the posts, and write “congratulations” on their social media every time someone checks a “should” off of the list. Graduation, engagement, bridal shower, baby shower, house warming, anniversary etc. I “should” have a celebration too. New blog shower🙂

My entire life I have attempted to live by the “shoulds” and consistently failed. Failures that have left me feeling…. less than. Inadequate. Like I am a failure. Like I’ve lived my life wrong. Have I failed at life?

4 year degree? CHECK

Nice guy? NO

Stable job? CHECK**

Married? NO

Management? NO

Single family home? Dog? NO

Two kids? NO

Senior Management? NO

Mini van? NEVER

Big house? Luxury vehicle? Fabulous vacations? Catered dinner parties? NO***

If I compare my life to this list of “shoulds.” A list that I essentially created on my own. Then, I would be a failure. Why have I created a list that I can’t and didn’t complete? I will discuss this with my counselor on Thursday.

I’m ready to burn the “shoulds.” I’m ready to accept myself as I am. To love myself just the way I am. I am a beautiful masterpiece and also a work in progress… at the same time.

There are no “shoulds.” Wait. There’s one.

I should do whatever I need to do to fight for my happiness and live a life that I am proud of.

XOXO

Lesson: Be like Rhianna, and “live your life hey, ayy, ayy, ayy”

Question: Am I the only one with the “shoulds?” What “shoulds” have you told yourself?

**It took me 40 years to land the stable job.

***My vacations are pretty amazing. For clarity, “fabulous,” is on a whole different level. First class not Wanna Get Away.