He was famous, married to a beautiful woman, and the father of three. Living the American dream from the outside. But on the inside he couldn’t live another day. It breaks my heart to think of the intensity of mental anguish that he felt and no one knew.

Did he know the magnitude of his presence? He had an impact that mattered. He mattered.

Did he know? People come out in masses to post kind words once something has happened to someone. But do we ask people how they are doing and give them a safe space to answer before a tragedy? Do we look at their lives and think that because of their Instagram everything is fine and forget to discover the whole story? Instagram doesn’t show the whole story no matter how much I post. Everything will never make it to IG.

I spent time strolling through his Instagram. Lots of smiles, laughs, anniversaries and expertly choreographed dances. A Picture perfect collection of an incomplete story.

It just reminds me of the day I had a seizure at Lava Cantina. spaghetti sauce all over my white Memorial Day attire. The ambulance was called. Bartenders were caring for me. I was rolled out of Lava Cantina on a gurney. The EMT suggested I get further treatment at the nearest Emergency Room. I didn’t have health coverage. I couldn’t afford an ER visit. Instead of medical care I posted my “before” on Instagram.

XOXO

Lesson: Check on your “life of the party” friends. We have unspoken troubles too.

** Sincerest shout out to my Gooden friend. She saw my seizure first hand, went into immediate action, drove me home and stayed with me while I recovered on the sofa. She is also consistently the first one to recognize when I’m absent from social media in a mental funk. I will always love her for that and return the thoughtfulness.

Question: When was the last time you reached out to a person that you don’t normally engage with to do a wellbeing check?

Call to Action: Check on your strong friend or family member TODAY. Say, “sincerely, how are you really doing?”