My BFF and I were driving down 183 passing his exit. I asked if she was in a rush or not. No. We headed to Stanley’s.

I knew Stanley for a while. I’d been to his place a few times and remembered the directions perfectly. Stanley and I had been situationshipping, but he hadn’t been responding to my calls lately. Which was extra weird considering that I was calling the phone that I gave him. Gosh, I was stupid. I am stupid. I used to be stupid. I won’t be stupid anymore.

BFF and I drove around the maze of the parking lot and parked Action Adventure* in the spot directly in front of his apartment. We were in her car. I figured he wouldn’t know the car. Smart, right?

I sat in the passenger seat of my BFF’s car and called Stanley thirty five times. In a row. Back to back. Why? To this day I have no Earthly idea what was my intention. What could dialing this man’s phone number, back to back, 35 times in a row accomplish? Did I think that these actions would end in a positive result? I couldn’t. Could I? Did I?

He answered.

I gasped. Shocked.

He said, “are you in front of my place?” I gasped, “huh?”

I’m sure you could imagine how that conversation went. What the hell was I thinking? What was the point? Why? Just why?!?!?! This has been 10+ years ago and I still do not know the answer.

Fast forward. I had a Black male colleague on my team for the first time in a long time and we became friends. One day we were talking about our friends and some way some how I figured out that my colleague’s best friend since youth was Stanley. You have got to be kidding me!?! Nope. Best friends! I confessed to my 35 calls from the parking lot to my colleague. We laughed. We moved on.

My team from work went to The Hideaway for happy hour on pay day and guess who wanted to come? Yep. Stanley. By this time I had told the whole team about 35. I should probably be ashamed, but it is too funny for me to hide. So when Stanley walks up everyone had a good laugh at my story again.

Stanley and I reconnected. Laughed about 35. Exchanged information and have been in touch again. For a few years. We connect every now and then. Have a few laughs and then go our separate ways.

We laughed recently. It was fun. I wondered if I’d been missing out by not taking him seriously. Could I actually be with Stanley after all of this time?

Fuck no! Stanley is still Stanleying and I do not have the energy for his level of foolishness.

We can laugh. But I’ll never cry for him again.

XOXO

Lesson: Once ‘ain’t no good’. Always ‘ain’t no good.’

Question: Why do I still entertain Stanley knowing that he ‘ain’t no good?’

*Action Adventure is when you back into a parking spot just in case you have to leave expeditiously.